Monday, December 17, 2012

Franchot Drops Out of Race and Kamenetz Did What?

 The following comments about the candidates for governor are meant as humor.  To the best of my knowledge, none of the candidates actually said or experienced anything of the following.  Though I have been known to be wrong.

This week Maryland Comptroller Peter Franchot made the disappointing announcement that he is not going to run for Governor when Martin "President Wanna-be" O'Malley's term ends in 2014.  Franchot was the only potential candidate to remind O'Malley that he's not a god and many (read all) of his ideas are terrible.  Doug Gansler, Tony Brown, and Ken Ulman didn't hear the announcement because they were all so far up O'Malley's ass.

Ken Ulman will claim that he is the best man for the job as he's the only candidate that's actually built an interociter.  He'll also claim that he's qualified because he went to Centennial High School, a widely diversified high school (88% white or Asian).  He will run on the platform that we need more fences around railroad track to protect the hard working people of Maryland.  Unfortunately for him, his clothes are made of a material that allows us to see right through him.

Doug Gansler, on the other hand, has been busy rubber-stamping O'Malley's prerogatives for the past 6 years. He does hold Martin O'Malley's father-in-law's old position, but I'm not sure that gives him any leverage in the next election.  But let's be honest, Doug Gansler is about as exciting as the Baltimore defense against Peyton Manning.  Can he really drum up support talking about all of the great rulings he's made about tort law as it impacts the state?  Has any Governor come from the Attorney General position?  I don't know the answer.

Tony Brown, otherwise known as The Shadow, has an early endorsement by his boss.  If you've ever watched an O'Malley press-conference, you'll know that as soon as O'Malley starts rolling up his sleeves (he does it all the time), the Shadow follows suit.  He always agrees with our Governor, regardless of the issue, just like a good Lieutenant Governor should.  If Martin O'Malley has an opinion, Tony Brown agrees with it.  Is Tony Brown capable of forming his own opinions?  At this point, there is no evidence to suggest that he is.  There are rumors that Lt. Gov Brown was heard in the kitchen of the Governor's mansion singing, "Chop-chop, chop the squid, disappoint my father."

Kevin Kamenetz, though not officially a candidate, is surely a candidate for future gubernatorial elections.  However, in spite of his incredibly bad hair cut, his reputation was scarred this past week when he practiced his French and said he surrendered.  Kevin Kamenetz gave up on saving thousands of jobs at Sparrows Point.  What he said in concert with our French surrendering Governor was that it was time to move on. What we heard was that we're tired of fighting for good-paying union jobs in Baltimore County because we can get enough votes in the elections to win without you.

No word on potential Republican candidates at this time.  Who do you want to run for Governor in 2014?

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