Monday, November 27, 2006


In Other News

Okay, I also have a job and sometimes that keeps me busy.

The Baltimore Ravens played the Pittsburgh Steelers over the weekend. Here is an article about the game. Now, I think you would be hard-pressed to disagree that the Ravens never get any respect. When the Ravens won the Super Bowl, the only "football analyst" to pick them was Sterling Sharpe, and the only reason he picked the Ravens to win is that his brother, Shannon, was on the team.

Typical of Sports Illustrated, they think the Steelers are the best team ever. Right behind them are the Dallas Cowboys. ESPN, however, is not much better. Can you guess the sources of this article?

Big Ben Sacked 9 Times, Steelers Blanked By Ravens

BALTIMORE (AP) -- While sacking Ben Roethlisberger nine times, the Baltimore Ravens slightly reduced the Pittsburgh Steelers chance of successfully defending their Super Bowl title. Though still considered one of the best teams in the AFC North, the Steelers did not play well against the overrated Ravens, who, despite their nine wins, struggled throughout the game.

The Ravens troubles have haunted them all season. With Brian Billick's job on the line, he made some quick changes, firing offensive coordinator and long-time friend, Jim Fassel. Billick now controls the offensive play calling, but many wonder if this is enough. Though offensive play has improved slightly, many wonder if it will be enough to stop the surging Bengals.

McNair, thought to be the answer to the Ravens offensive problems, only threw for 140 yards, whereas Ben Roethlisberger, one of the best quarterbacks in the league over the past few years, threw for 214 yards. Baltimore, trying to find their grove, was forced to put Kyle Boller into the game. The Ravens struggled with penalties throughout the game, losing 87 yards on 10 penalties. Pittsburgh, which maintained good ball presence, only suffered 4 penalties for 28 yards.

The Steelers had some impressive drives showing that they are still in the driver's seat. Nate Washington received the ball 4 times for 49 yards, one catch alone for 27 yards. Also on the receiving end was Cedrick Wilson, also with 4 catches for 49 yards. The Steelers defense showed to be more formidable, shutting down Jamal Lewis, limiting him to only 66 yards. In the field, Todd Heap was held to 58 yards and 7 catches and veteran Derek Mason was held to 5 catches for 43 yards.

The loss was a minor setback for the Steelers. However, fans should not be dismayed as they play Tampa Bay and Cleveland at home, both winnable games. Also on the schedule are the Panthers who are in the midst of a major slump, losing to the Redskins yesterday. Following this game the Ravens come to Pittsburgh, where the Ravens have struggled. A strong showing throughout the remainder of the season could easily vault the Steelers into the playoffs.

The Ravens, however, have tough games at Cincinnati, Kansas City, and Pittsburgh, with home games against the surging Browns and Bills. Most analysts agree that the Ravens will need to do more to make a run at the playoffs, faint as their odds may be. A poor showing in the standings surely will end Brian Billick's career in Baltimore.

Meanwhile, in Cincinnati, the Bengals proved why they are the best team in the AFC North with a decisive win over the Browns, 30-0. The Bengals have the Ravens in their site and with a few solid wins, could easily swing ahead of the Ravens.

Dixon on Baltimore

When asked about the Ravens chances of winning it all, Baltimore mayor-default Sheila Dixon, said that she hopes the Ravens can really play above the rim and have a good chance of winning the NAACP Championship.

Ms. Dixon also said that she wants to increase state funding to city schools. Ain't that great? City schools already receive an average of $9000 per student per year. We could send these kids to private schools cheaper than that. Why are we, as taxpayers, sending them to drug-infested, bullet-ridden insane asylums?

One for the funny pages

Six years after Bill Clinton, the President who stole the Most Promiscuous President of All-Time Award from Kennedy, left Washington D.C., we see the new class photos from a beltway elementary school.

Monday, November 13, 2006

A New Congress

Steny Hoyer

Steny Hoyer, the bigot from Southern Maryland who thinks he can say whatever he wants without consequence, which seems to be the case, is getting the cold shoulder from the Baltimore native Communist House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi.

Nancy Pelosi is seeking to fill the House Majority Leader position now that the Democrats have retaken the House of Representatives. Hoyer is the current Minority Leader, which would lead one to assume that he would become the Majority Leader, but Pelosi, known for her unexplainable and irrational decisions, endorsed former Marine and now anti-American John P. Murtha of Pennsylvania, as the House Majority Leader over Hoyer.

Steny Hoyer, who is pictured above with one of the members of his staff, was then incorrectly labeled by the Baltimore Sun as a business-friendly moderate. They forgot to mention racist and bigot. When asked about a possible correction, the Baltimore Sun, never shy about inserting editorial opinion into its journalistic reporting, told the requester to go pound some sand in a red state.

Brain Drain

Baltimore's new mayor-default, Sheila Dixon, said that she is concerned about a "brain-drain" from the city as Martin O'Malley takes his cronies with him to the State House. Expect the hypercritical Democrats to be silent when O'Malley fires all of Governor Ehrlich's appointments, despite their earlier lawsuit against the Governor when he did the same thing.

Anyway, here's a message for Ms. Dixon - the brain drain from Baltimore is not going to start when O'Malley becomes supreme ruler of Maryland. The brain drain began decades ago and has only gotten worse. The brain drain began when hard left-wing liberal extremists tried to institute socialism as the government of the city and tax all of the working people so that they could do "income redistribution" for all those blessed souls that just don't feel like working. This began the great flight to the suburbs where taxes were much lower and crime almost non-existent. This brain drain isn't going to start now.

Think about it - working or living in the city: if you had the choice, would you:

A) live in the suburbs where there's little crime and lower taxes, or
B) live in one of the most violent cities in America and pay taxes through the nose?

A) work in a congested city where parking is expensive, a city that is not business friendly, because the city wants to tax them through the nose, or
B) work in the suburbs where there is free parking and a business-friendly environment? (And did we mention less crime?)

A) work in the suburbs close to your home where there is less crime and lower taxes, or
B) work in the city and tolerate an inhospitable mass transit system where city residents prey on commuters to steal their money? (I am stating this with experience. A 12 year old once got in my face on a crowded subway train, stood on by bag and said with nonsubtle racist attitude, "I'm standing on your sh*t, b*tch, wha' you gonna do 'bout it?")

I think most of the people with brains have already figured it out. Baltimore City is not the place to live if you like to live.

Despite the criticism of her lack of intelligence, Sheila Dixon says she has plans for the city and looks forward to being the new mayor. Many things could happen to this city and perhaps not all of them are bad.

Friday, November 10, 2006

The State of Race

Howard Dean on African-Americans

Howard Dean, the Chairman of the Democratic party and former candidate for President, is one crazy character. He basically lost the Presidential election when he went nuts on stage and started screaming. It's really fun to listen to.

And you absolutely have to listen to this remix. Hysterical!!!

Now, Howard Dean has never denied that he is a racist communist, so we will have to make the assumption that he is one. First, he is the former Governor of Vermont, a known hot bed of communist activity.

Secondly, is discussing the Democrat's success in the mid-term elections, he criticized Maryland
Democrats to make sure they "do not have another Michael Steele problem." Perpetuating the racism that is integral the Democratic party, they want the African-American vote, but they do not want them in office except for the token show pieces.

My Irish Eyes are Blood-Shot and Watery

Newly elected Governor Martin O'Malley, in an excellent show of timing, released information concerning his drunk driving arrest the day after he was elected. Arresting officers stated that O'Malley reeked of alcohol and was chumming on tobacco to mask the smell of the beer.

Martin O'Malley was then given a sobriety test where in his drunkenness after he refused a breathalyzer test. Why do most people refuse a breathalyzer test? Because they're drunk!!! In the field test, he nearly lost his balance in a heal-to-toe test. He was then asked to stand on one leg and count to 30. Rumor is that he claimed he was a Baltimore City school graduate and it wasn't fair for him to recite complex math, especially when he's stinking drunk.

O'Malley's father, a extraordinary wealthy Montgomery County lawyer, requested a motion to suppress the evidence. The judge granted the request. Why would someone request to suppress the evidence? Because they're guilty!!! Why would someone grant a request to suppress evidence? I can only think of 2 reasons - O'Malley's father either had some way to blackmail the judge or the judge had received political donations to from O'Malley.

Pete's Dragon Franchot

Peter Franchot, the guy that won the State Comptroller position only because he didn't call Donald Schaefer grandpa or Janet Owens Old Mother Hubbard. However, we all know that this guy is a total nut. He's the only Comptroller that I know who ran on a Pro-Choice platform. As Governor Ehrlich said, this guy obviously doesn't know what the position is about. I will contradict that by saying that Mr. Franchot is setting himself up for his own Governor's race in 2010 or 2014.

Mr. Franchot, being the policy advocate Comptroller-elect, is now discussing how we are going to combat global warming. What is his input going to be? A tax on combustion engines? When asked how he is going to fund Thorton, he said the old fashioned way. This is a euphemism for an increase in taxes. Expect a raise in property taxes against the "wealthy" people in Maryland. Sounds good except that he'll probably define "wealthy" as people with a household income greater than $60,000. If you and your spouse make $30,000 each, you're wealthy. This sucks, doesn't it?!!!

Look for a commuter tax, too. If you work in one county and live in another, bamm!!!! It's going to hurt. Peter the Robber Baron said to relax and it won't hurt that much. Isn't that what they say in prison???

New Mayor's Plans for Baltimore

Baltimore's new mayor-default, Sheila Dixon, says she has some great ideas for when she becomes mayor. Not only will all of her family members get jobs (since when has nepotism in Maryland been a problem???), but she also wants to improve the city schools.

Hark! What a great idea! I think O'Malley, Schmoke, Burns, Schaefer, D'Alesandro III, McKeldin, Goodman, Grady, D'Alesandro, Jr, Jackson, Broening, Preston, etc... said the same thing. If you are a former city school student, these are the previous mayors of Baltimore. If you're an educated realist, you'll know that they all failed miserably. If you're a Democrat, you know they worked hard to help the working people of Baltimore.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

New Mayor Of Baltimore

Baltimore's New Mayor

The saying is that no good deed goes unpunished. Well, in this case, even a bad deed won't go unpunished. By electing Martin "Show Me The Money" O'Malley as governor, Sheila Dixon now becomes the proud mayor of Baltimore.

Chris Rock has a wonderful skit where he says that his mother was yelling at him as a teenager to stay off of drugs because if you are on drugs, what are you going to do with your life? Rock replied, "I could be Mayor!" referring to federally convicted crack user, Washington DC Mayor Marion Berry.

Anyway, all I can say to the people of Baltimore is that you get what get. I predict that Baltimore will be destroyed in a blazing inferno started by incompetent family members running the Department of Public Works. If you're not familiar with Sheila Dixon, check out this previous blog post: Baltimore is in Trouble

Oh-No Malley!!!

Say it Ain't True!!!

So it looks like Ehrlich is going to lose to Mayor Martin "Ain't I Pretty" O'Malley. It also looks like Michael Steele is going to lose to Ben "Tax & Spend" Cardin. Pass the Zoloft. I heard that in his victory speech last night, O'Malley claimed, "I know I did an abysmal job as mayor and I'm totally incompetent as a public official, but you ladies know I'm sexy and I plan on being sexy for a long time to come! Thank you for voting for me!"

Hot under the collar Mike Miller was heard saying, "Yeah, we taught those f**kers a lesson, didn't we? Like I said, we will bury the Republicans and the 2-party system for 20 years!!! Remember, it's not voter fraud when you tell the people that you are safe-guarding their right to vote!"


Here are my predictions should, in fact, the election process validate their victories:

1) Sales tax will increase to 6% so that we can provide more services to people that just don't want to work, God bless them.

2) The General Assembly will all of a sudden to decide that they are no longer against the slots bill and will approve the one submitted by O'Malley that, curiously, has Bob Ehrlich's name on the bottom crossed out, and it signed by O'Malley in crayon.

3) Greg and Dave will be able to get married.

4) The death penalty will be repealed and at the same time, they will make it easier for 12 year old girls to get abortions. Interesting how it's okay to kill an unborn child, but not a murderer, but I digress.

5) All of Sheila Dixon's family will have jobs in city government when she takes over as Mayor.

6) Corporate taxes will increase so that they pay their "fair share". In 10 years, many corporations will have moved to North Carolina. To combat this loss of tax-base, the state will raise taxes. More companies will move to North Carolina, causing the state to increase taxes to keep up with the loss of tax-base.

7) In Carroll County, the state will close the airport in Westminster and confiscate the land. (For graduates of city public schools - an airport is where airplanes land). The land will then be


1) On Channel 13 when O'Malley was voting, he finished and went to kiss his wife and she turned her head, so he kissed her cheek. It's a good thing that years of rumors of his infidelity are not true.

2) CNN and AP reported that O'Malley and Cardin were victors with 1% of the polls reporting in. These polls showed Ehrlich and Steele ahead. Makes sense to you, right?

3) A new website was created to help Marylanders who need to cope with the election of hard-left wing liberal extremists. Go here.

Going forward, this blog will continue to operate as a watch dog site to show the hard-working people of Maryland what the evil rulers of the state are doing. Stay tuned!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Exit Poll Updates

Maryland Exit Poll Update

Disclaimer (Reiterated)

All false statements within this blog are intentionally continuing to be false statements. This blog is for entertainment purposes only, but there are facts that should be considered. Do not get your accurate news from a blog. You'll end up like ABC and walk around with pie on your face.

Exit Polls

Still no news from any sites or from the television. My exit polls in the heavily Republican jurisdiction shows Ehrlich/Cox and Steele still winning in a landslide. However, phone conversations throughout the state have shown that many of my sure votes have been cancelled out by people who disregard the facts. As my sister always says, "I'm not letting the facts get in the way of my opinion!"

I Called It First!!!

I said the buzz word of the day would be "Dirty Tricks". Here you go. Read this story.

Dumb People Have Rights To!

This includes the right to vote. Listen to this!! There really are a lot of dumb people out there!

Big Brother Is Watching

I went to my site meter which tells me how many people have looked at my site, where they are located, and whose Internet service they are using. I have 3 hits from the U.S. Department of Justice. Yikes!!! I know you're watching me!!!!

Interestingly, I also got a hit from the U.S. House of Representatives' Information System. Like I really have any news they can use. They must be visiting my site for its excellent entertainment!!!

Maryland Exit Poll Results

Maryland Exit Poll Results


For everyone who is reading this blog for the first time, all things that are not true on this site are intentionally false. Do not take any false statements to be true statements.

Exit Polls

My continuing exit polling is showing that Bob Ehrlich/Kristin Cox and Michael Steele are leading by a landslide over Martin "Tax it All" O'Malley and Ben "free drivers licenses for everyone" Cardin.

However, someone has found a flaw in my exit polling. I have interviewed people who:

A) Have jobs
B) Have families
C) Are concerned about their future
D) Want the good economy to continue
E) Want to provide our troops with their needed supplies and pay
F) Want to fight terrorism in a responsible and comprehensive manner

There may be a large majority of people in the Blue State of Maryland who do not believe in these things.

Election Day

Election Day

Today is election day and if you are a Republican, you should be out voting. If you are a Democrat, don't worry, you can vote tomorrow!

There have been some concerns at the polls today. Some stations are showing that not all polling machines are working because they forgot to send extension cords.

Fortunately, my exit polling shows that Ehrlich/Cox and Steele are far ahead. To those who are voting for O'Malley and Ben "I love illegal immigrants" Cardin, Judge Judy and Wheel of Fortune are on tonight - stay home and don't miss their exciting new episodes!!!

My sister-in-law called me and for school board in Harford Country, the form said to "choose no more than 2". She chose 1, but the program would not let her do that. The election judges were confounded and recommended that she choose an additional person to circumvent the problem. Yikes!

Someone called WBAL and said that his neighbor and he went to vote and posed as each other. No one questioned them nor asked for identification. This is illegal, but it proves that anyone can go in and vote as someone else. Fortunately, Democrats do not listen to WBAL, but most of them are well-trained in voter fraud. O'Malley held classes for the past 2 months.

O'Malley Endorses...



Unless something odd happens, we will not know who the Governor or Senator are for several days. A poll cast by the left-wing liberal extremist MSNBC showed that the gubernatorial race (that's the race for Governor if you're from a Baltimore City school), was dead even at 45% each.

The same poll showed that Ben 'me amigo' Cardin and Michael Steele are 1% apart, but with the +/- error, it is dead even, too. When Cardin's supporters were asked to comment, most said, "Aye carumba! No hable Ingles, si."

With the election results hanging tonight, the buzz words & phrases being thrown around will be "Voter fraud", "Dirty tricks", "voter disenfranchisement", "not counting the votes", and "stole the election". Word on the street is that both parties have hired their lawyers to sue the other side once the election results are given. Neither side will concede the election, while both sides will declare victory.

The best thing about election day? No more stinking political advertisements. We're all sick of them!!!!!!

Funny Story

Last week I purchased a burger and fries at McDonald's for $3.58.
The counter girl took my $4.00 and I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies. While looking at the screen on her register, I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.

Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s......

Teaching Math In 1950 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1960 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1970 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

Teaching Math In 1980 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20 your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math In 1990 A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.)

Teaching Math In 2006 Un ranchero vende una carretera de made rapará $100. El cuesto de la producción era $80. Cuantos tortillas se puede comprar?

Monday, November 06, 2006



Here are my endorsements for Tuesday's election. Most are Republicans, no surprise there.

Governor \ Lt. Governor: Bob Ehrlich - Kristin Cox (moderate Republican)
U.S. Senator - Michael Steele (conservative Republican)
State's Attorney General - Scott Rolle (Republican)
Maryland Comptroller - Anne McCarthy (Republican)
U.S. Representative District 6 - Roscoe Bartlett (Conservative Republican)
State Senator District 9 - Allan Kittleman (Very Conservative Republican)
House of Delegates District 9B - Susan Krebs (moderate Republican)
Carroll County Executive (Choose 3) - Dean Minnich (moderate Republican)
Julia Gouge (moderate Republican)
Dennis Beard (moderate Democrat)
Republican Central Committee - Larry Helminiak (conservative Democrat)

If you do not vote, you have no excuse to complain about anything.

Remember, Republicans vote on Tuesday. Democrats vote on Wednesday.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Ben Cardin Who???

Cardin Gaffe

Asked about the Patriot Act, Ben Cardin recently said something to the effect that the act did not concern him because it was enacted before he ever came into office. I envision the conversation something like this (and use your best Hanna-Barbara dumb-guy character voice):

Reporter: How do you feel about the Patriot Act? (this is a typical report question. They want to know about feelings rather than facts)

Ben: D-oy, the Patriot Act doesn't concern me, 'cuz I wasn't in Congress yet.

Reporter: Mr. Cardin, you've been in office for 28 years.

Ben: D-ya. What's yer point?

Reporter: The Act was passed in 2001 and further provisions were reaffirmed in 2005 and you actually voted to fund the war.

Ben: Ayee, what?

Reporter: And you voted against taking action in the first Gulf War when Saddam Huessein attacked Kuwait. Then you voted against a Republican plan to start withdrawing troops from Iraq, despite that being one of your platforms.

Ben: Hey - dat's not fair. Stop using my voting record to make me look stupid!

Reporter: Can you give us some details about your plan for Maryland's transportation problems? For example, could you comment on the plans for the purple line?

Ben: The purple line? I've heard of that!

Reporter: Can you tell us about it? Where will it be?

Ben: D-oy, I don't know. How am I supposed to know that? Just because Michael Steele knows all the details, hey, wait a minute! Yer still trying to make me look dumb!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Truth Hath No Value In Politics

I See No Evil, I Hear No Evil, But I Am Evil

Quote of the day: in reference to Martin O'Malley's drunk driving arrest when he was a law student and his failure to disclose it to the public, State Fraternal Order of Police President John "Rodney" Bartlett, Jr. stated, "Although his arrest and acquittal 20 years ago on a driving under the influence charge may be irrelevant to his ability to serve as Governor, his ability to tell the truth completely and without qualification is extremely relevant."

This really complicates matters. We are now going to bring being able to tell the truth into the election? I fully expect Martin O'Malley does not maintain the ability to tell the truth. But then again, that seems to be a characteristic of most politicians. If Martin O'Malley is going to be held to the higher standard of truth-saying, he might be in trouble.

Mr. Rock-n-Roll O'Malley, I recommend that you come clean and release your law application.

Scary Halloween Surprise!!!

Watch This Video

Okay, so Halloween was a couple of days ago, but there's still good stuff to share.

More John Kerry

Isn't it too bad this doofus didn't get to be our President? Everyone makes fun of GW, but is this guy any better?

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Poll Results

The Sun Still Sucks

The Baltimore Sun sat on poll results for several days as they did not know what to do with them. The results show that Ehrlich and O'Malley are dead even. They are baffled by the results and wonder how Marylanders could be so stupid.

Apparently, previous polls had shown that their beloved Prince Martin O'Malley was maintaining a 14-15% lead over the dastardly Republican. Hark, the new poll shows them at 47% - 46% with a margin of error being 3.5%, statistically speaking a tie. What would any good liberal propaganda newspaper do with this information? Nothing! Don't let the truth get out. As The Sun has always practiced, they don't let the truth get in the way of a good story.

It was reported that The Sun was forced to release the results of the poll because the polling company threatened to release it to the public if The Sun did not do it.

An article in The Sun by Andrew Green and Doug Donovan, 2 guys known in the journalism world as vocal hard left-wing liberal extremists, criticized Ehrlich for his "relentless attacks on Mayor Martin O'Malley's record on crime and schools". In typical 'non-racist' hypocrisy, the article focused almost entirely on skin color. It stressed that the black turnout must be high to defeat Governor Ehrlich. However, little was mentioned about how white turnout would defeat O'Malley. Rather than focusing on issues that will turn out voters, The Sun continues to make this a race issue. Shame on The Sun. But should we expect anything less from a bunch of bigots?

Private Dumb-Dumb

John Kerry thinks that everyone in the military is an idiot. This is what he said/inferred the other day when he said, "You know, education -- if you make the most of it, you study hard and you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."

Kerry, a condescending former war veteran, has never been shy about disparaging our military members. He once threw his medals, medals that most soldiers are proud to own, over the fence of the White House. He also exaggerated his accomplishments in Vietnam, only to be discredited by his own members. And can we even count how many times he has voted against funding for the military?

It's a Technicality!

Jim Smith, the liberal County Executive for Baltimore County, thinks he has found a way to legally break the law. What, you ask? Campaign laws forbid anyone from contributing more than $6,000 to any one candidate. Jim Smith, being a Democrat who's above the law, donated a ton of money to a slate with the intention of moving that money to Scott Shellenberger. One of those slates, Baltimore County Victory Slate, show that Smith was the only contributor. All of these slates, in turn, were directed by Jim SMith to then send the money to Shellenberger.

When asked about why he broke the law, the Smith campaign responded that Scott Shellenberger is an outstanding candidate and will bring a strong partner in Baltimore County's
renaissance. What the cuss does that have to do with the question? Are they saying it's okay to break the law if it is for a good cause? Are they taking their morals and values from Madonna?

All in all, no one seems to be anxious to investigate or charge anyone with any wrong doing, further proving that the Maryland Democratic machine runs more than just the General Assembly and the courts. This is why we need to get these crooks out of office.

Don't Forget To Vote

Do not forget that there are new voting rules in place designed to ease polling station congestion.

Republicans - remember that your day to vote is on Tuesday, November 7th.

Democrats - remember that your day to vote is on Wednesday, November 8th.

Be Notified!

If you would like to be put on a mailing list to be notified when there are new postings, please send an email to and put "Email list" in the subject line. I will then send you updates, along with selling your email address to third party affiliates so they can send targeted advertising to you. (just kidding!)

Monday, October 30, 2006

Don't Vote for a Drunk

Don't Vote for this Guy

In the latest round of skirting his past, Baltimore Mayor Martin O'Malley was interviewed by Washington Post radio. During the radio, he was asked if he was going to release the records of his bar application. He said no. Asked why he was avoiding the issue, O'Malley said something to the degree of "we are not looking in the past. We are concerned about the future". And then there was some rhetoric about how is going to save old people and clean the bay. And then some more no comments.

It sure sounds like he's not trying to hide anything, right? He said the past was unimportant. It must be unimportant that he fired 4 police commissioners. It must be unimportant that he was arrested for Driving Under the Influence of alcohol. It must be unimportant that he rewrote crime statistics to make the city look better under his watch.

Until O'Malley states otherwise, and there is no evidence to support this, but we will speculate that his bar application also contains arrests for soliciting male prostitutes, streaking naked across the field during a high school football game (O'Malley was 31 at the time), soliciting campaign contributions from Communists (Namely Fidel Castro and Kim Jong Il), and being married to 5 different women at one time.

Instead, O'Malley is going to work hard to help our children. He's going to work hard to make middle class families stronger. He's going to work hard to make the Chesapeake Bay cleaner. What the hell is that? When I run for office, I'm going to work hard to make everybody rich and sexually fulfilled. Top that, Mr. B.S.

Lies, Damn Lies, & Statistics

Every year, Morgan Quinto awards cities for being the safest and most dangerous. This year, the award for the most dangerous went to St. Louis. However, when you look at the big picture, St. Louis was categorized in the "small city" group. Looking at "big cities", (cities of 500,000 or more people), Baltimore is listed as the second most dangerous city after Detroit. One note on Detroit, it's considered uncool not to kill someone at least once a year.

So, Mr. O'Malley, if Baltimore is so safe, why second place on the list of Where Not To Go For Your Summer Vacation? If you become Governor, you need to kick the ass of that guy running Baltimore City because the crime in his town is out of control. What's that guy doing anyway?

Local Politics

All politicians start at the local level. Here in Carroll County, we have a race for Carroll County Commissioners. We have three of them. I guess it's sort of a checks and balance system. If one of the f's up, the other two can undo it.

There are several problems here. Normally, whichever Republican wins the primary wins the election because Carroll County is 200% Republican. One of the current members is one of the ole' boys. Another one leaves everyone in the dark. The one normal one did not get renominated in the primary.

The guy who pulled off the upset is Mike Zimmer. This guy is a real snake. He was in a forum where other candidates for County Commissioner squared off and answered questions. This clown stated that he is active in the community by being an integral member of Carrolltowne United, a local single-issue activist group. The problem with this is that I am very close to the Secretary of the group and the Secretary of the group tells me that Mike Zimmer basically had nothing to do with Carrolltowne United. This makes Mike Zimmer a big fat obnoxious liar.


Adlai Stevenson, a former Presidential candidate running against Republican Dwight D. Eisenhower, was at a campaign rally. Someone from the crowd shouted, "Mr. Stevenson, every thinking man in America will vote for you!" Stevenson replied, "That's not enough, I want to win!"

Another time he was being interviewed. Someone asked him why he wanted to win. He replied, "Because I don't want to lose!"

Sunday, October 29, 2006

The Ballot of Ganlser

The Ballot of Gansler

The campaign manager for Scott Rolle, the Republican candidate for Maryland State's Attorney General, sued Douglas Gansler for running for State's Attorney General when, in fact, he is not eligible.

Maryland's Constitution states that a candidate for Attorney General must practice law in the state of Maryland for at least 10 years to be eligible for the position. Gansler, however, has only practiced law for 8 years. Gansler claimed that he is eligible for the position because he has been a member of the bar for 17 years and once worked as an assistant U.S. attorney.

Anne Arundel County Circuit Court Judge Ronald Silkworth agreed with Gansler that it is okay not to meet the requirements for a position, striking down the Republicans' lawsuit.

I hope then when my lawsuit where I claim that I meet the requirements that I do not have to pay taxes, the case is heard by Judge Ronald Skunkworth.

This is a surprising ruling considering that Judge Silkworth is normally considered a reasonable judge. This is the same judge that ruled that the Democrats were off of their rocker when they passed a law that stated that you could vote for the entire week leading up to the election, that these additional polling places would be in heavily-Democratic areas, that you would not be required to show identification, and that there would be no record-keeping to prevent someone from voting multiple times. In Chicago, this is known as "vote early, vote often". In Maryland, it is considered Democratic politics status quo.

Steele Magnolias

Ben Cardin and Michael Steele appeared on Meet the Press with Tim Russert today in the last of the expected debates to fill the Maryland Senate seat vacated by the anti-Maryland, anti-business retiring Paul Sarbanes.

Most of the debate centered around the Iraq War and Cardin was trying to make Steele look bad by saying that he likes the President of the United States. It's not like Steele likes Hitler or Kim Jong Il.

Then the debate turned to abortion, which Michael Steele has hinted that he is against. Ben Cardin, on the other hand, tried to pass a law making it legal for under-age children to get abortions without telling their parents. According the Ben Cardin, it's okay for a 12 year old girl to get an abortion without telling her mother, but she cannot go to the dentist to get a cavity filled. That sure makes a lot of sense.

Getting back to the anti-Sarbanes, I want to explain myself. Anti-Business Sarbanes: the Sarbanes-Oxley Act was passed after the Enron, WorldComm scandals. This was Congress' way to control those bad companies and protect us Americans. One of the effects of this law was that business had to spend more money on compliance reporting. This has a huge impact on mid and small-sized businesses.

Anti-Maryland Sarbanes: Sarbanes collected 67.8% of his political contributions from out-of-state. Who is/was Sarbanes representing when only 32.2% of his campaign contributions came from the state in which he is the representative. Steny Hoyer, the bigot as mentioned in my previous posts, received 56.6% of his money out of state. I would take that to meant that not many people in Maryland like him, and can you blame them???

You're running out of time. Contact to get your Vote No'Malley bumper sticker!!!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Drunk O'Malley

But Occifer....

Martin O'Malley admitted on Tuesday that he was once arrested for DUI. Mayor Peckerhead promptly blamed Bob Ehrlich for the incident saying, "This is the sort of last-minute sleaze he has pulled in every election he's ever run." There is no comment from the Ehrlich camp as to why Bob Ehrlich made Martin O'Malley drive drunk and then was forced to not disclose this on his application to the law bar.

Washington Post Endorses...

Going against the norm, the normally liberal Washington Post has endorsed Governor Bob Ehrlich for governor. The endorsement comes several weeks earlier than the usual endorsement, which normally appears the weekend before the election. This is considered a major coup for the Governor.

The Post states that "more worrisome yet is the fact that an O'Malley victory would herald a return to the brand of one-party Democratic rule that has served the state poorly in the past. Mr. Ehrlich, for all his faults, has shaken up the old guard in Maryland politics -- while appointing plenty of Democrats to his cabinet and judgeships. If he were wise, he would use a second term to start anew with the legislature and build on his record of achievement."

Most insiders expect that the bird cage paper, The Baltimore Sun, will still endorse O'Malley despite all of his flaws.

The Gazette, the local papers serving Carroll, Frederick, Montgomery, Prince George's, and many other southern counties also endorsed Governor Ehrlich for a second term. This endorsement, however, was not unexpected as it serves a conservative base.

Yee-Haw for State's Attorney General

Following in the footsteps of the Southern Maryland bigot Steny Hoyer, Doug Gansler, the Democratic candidate for State's Attorney General, has called Frederick County "Fredneck County". While this is funny is close circles with your friends, it is certainly not something a respectable person says when they are running for an elected office.

Gansler, who is being sued for not being eligible to run for State's Attorney General, denies that he said those insensitive remarks, but has heard others say them. He also denies drinking and driving with Martin O'Malley, shooting endangered species, and promoting responsible and accountable government policies.


I got this email from someone with a email address. Can anyone make anything from it?

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You really can't fail with 21st Century administrative options.
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Tuesday, October 24, 2006

A Safer Baltimore?

Make Maryland Safer

I'm so glad O'Malley is going to make Maryland safer. Maybe if he gets elected, he can do something about the crime in Baltimore City. That guy that's in charge of the city right now is doing one hell of a crappy job.

Today, according to the Baltimore Sun, another person was shot and killed in the city, bringing the annual death toll to 223, 3 more than this time last year.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Conjuntion Junction, What's Your Major Malfunction?

As promised, I have the update from this weekend's Maryland State Teacher's Convention. There are several members of my family that are teachers and we abuse the privilege and make a long weekend vacation out of it.

For the record, a close familiy member was also a teacher for about 21 years. He sure hated that job. He thought teaching was about helping kids learn. Everyone knows teaching is all about politics and towing the line. Another family member was a teacher and she said that you had to be registred as a Democrat or you did not get a job. That was just the way it was, or is.

This year I wore my newly acquired Ehrlich / Cox t-shirt. I knew this shirt would raise an eyebrow or two, especially from the teachers that can read. (just kidding!) The convention is always tainted with the poison of politics. Last year I had the honor of meeting and shaking hands with Doug Duncan. This was before the Baltimore Irish mafia got to him. You know the mafia - if you know what's best for you, you'll get depressed, drop out of the election and never run for office again.

Normally, the convention is filled booths manned with eager sales people and ex-teachers who know what's best. One year I had a 10 minute heated discussion about why I thought the annuities he was selling were horrible investments for retirement plans because you're forcing the teachers to pay for a death benefit that will not be received. The guy eventually told me to leave.

In addition, almost everyone there is a teacher and they all want to know where you teach. I attend as a guest, but few notice the 4"x6" lime green name tag that states "VISITOR". This year, I walked through the entire convention twice with only passing eye-eye contact glances. Most would look down at my shirt, shake their head, and not look me in the eyes. I felt violated! Is this how you women feel? Do people always want to know what your t-shirt says???

After being there an hour, I sat on a bench near the entrance. I man made eye contact with me from a distance and kept looking at me. He broke no smile or made no grimace. I was not sure what his intention was. He finally passed me, but a couple of seconds later there was a tap on my shoulder from behind. He extended his hand and said I was a brave sole for wearing that shirt and he wishes he had one, too. He then handed me a sticker that read, "Teacher Supported" and told me to apply it to my shirt and walk through the convention again.

I then walked proudly amongst the sea of liberals, my head held high, the sarcastic grin held back by the clenching of my teeth. Again, no smiles, no conversation, no 'Can I be your friend?'s. Finally I stood outside the main door to the big room waiting for the rest of the family to gather. A woman walked out of the convention wearing an O'Malley/Brown t-shirt. I cannot be certain, but think the smaller print on the back read, "Distract and Distort the facts from the women who think I'm cute."

I then caught this woman's eye. (actually, 'eyes'. She had 2 of them. Kind of a strange expression). She stopped in mid-stride and shook her head. The anger started boiling through her frizzy hair. Her shaking hands grabbed passers-by and she pointed to me. How dare someone wear a "Teacher Supported" sticker on an Ehrlich t-shirt at my convention!!! My brother-in-law and mother-in-law saw this display of anxiety and began laughing. A deer in headlights. What can she do to stop me?!!!

Shortly thereafter, another man came up to me and shook my hand and said that it takes a bold man to wear that shirt. I think I met both Republicans at the convention.

Uncivil Union

What draws teachers to the Dark Side of the Force? For one, all of the unions, NEA, MSTA, they all brainwash members to think Democrat. My sister-in-law said that she always votes for whomever the union tells her to vote. What kind of logic is that? If the union told her to pass all of her students even if they did not pass their tests...oh, wait, bad example.

Check out their endorsements. Not too many Republicans. And read their important issues and how the politicians voted. It's no wonder that they do not like Governor Bob Ehrlich. The MSTA is in favor of letting struggling schools continue failing the young children of Baltimore.

The MSTA is also failing their own members by refusing to accept any kind of raises by merit. In their eyes, all teachers should be paid the same for the amount of time worked. So Mrs. Incompentance 8-3pm gets paid the same as Mrs. Super Teacher 7-5pm. What is the incentive to do well? Everyone gets the same raise. If my job worked the same way, I would be sitting on my donkey memorizing the entire Internet while I was at work. Baltimore City schools have already proven the accountability is not an issue. Let's apply this to the whole state.


Kelly Clarkson has a song out called Hazel Eyes. One of the verses reads:

Here I am, once again.
I'm torn into pieces.

My 4 year old son has changed the words to be sung:

Here I am, once again.
I want to go to recess.

Check out Weird Al Yankovich's song, White and Nerdy. This is really funny. Especially if you're white and nerdy. Not only do I deny the allegations, I deny the alligator.

BTW, today is Weird Al's birthday.

Get your "Vote No'Malley" bumper sticker. Email to order. Only $3 a piece.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Dumass Awards & Streissand

Daily Awards

Today, we are honored to award the Dumass of the Day to two people. The first award goes to Maryland Congressman, Steny Hoyer. Steny, who's known by his cronies as "Funkin' White Trash Racist", commented about Michael Steele's political career as "a career of slavishly supporting the Republican Party."

Had Mr. White Trash Racist Steny been a Republican and not a racist bigot Democrat, he would have been rebuked nationwide, most notably by morally deficient Harry Reid of Nevada.

This is the same guy that attacked Republicans non-stop for accepting political donations from Jack Abramoff (because he likes it). When it was exposed that he had accepted $40,000 from Abramoff, he refused to return the donations because it was different. Whatever, Harry. You're a redneck hypocrite.

Today's second Dumass of the Day Award goes to sports announcer, Bryant Gumble. During the 2006 Olympics Gumble stated, "So try not to laugh when someone says these are the world's greatest athletes, despite a paucity of blacks that make the Winter Games look like a GOP convention." Luckily, his quasi-celebrity status protects him.

Mental Yentl

Babs went on a tirade recently. She had some stooge pretending to be a totally inept George W. Bush having a conversation with her on stage. Someone in the crowd yelled out to get back to the singing. She told that person to "shut the f**k up." Yeah, that's lovely. Thanks for being such a classy lady. Would this be why people consider her part of the condescending left?

Monday, October 16, 2006

Debate - Does Not Compute

Shut Up, Would You?

If you happened to catch the gubernatorial debate on Saturday between Governor Ehrlich and Mayor Martin "I want to be just like Kennedy" O'Malley, you saw an interesting debate.

O'Malley was excellent at delivering his memorized platitudes and sucker-punches. His lack of details and condescending attacks were overshadowed by his pretty smile and his 'golly-gee, I can help you' mannerisms.

Ehrlich, who spent a good portion of his time telling O'Malley to shut the funk up during his own rebuttal time, spent the remaining time trying to redress misleading accusations. O'Malley's fantasy statements were to the effect of, "There are 2 Bob Ehrlich's. One that promises to help children and working families. The other Bob Ehrlich hates children and working middle-class families, unlike me. This is evidenced by the fact that Ehrlich raised tuition 40% and now hard working middle-class families can no longer afford to send their children to college."

Let's diagnose this.

* Bob Ehrlich does not dictate tuition increases. They are determined by the Board of Regents for the respective colleges. Ehrlich 1, Dumass 0.

* According to the Democratic Leadership Council's webpage, they state that the average college tuition in the United States was up 50% over the past 5 years ending in 2006. In other words, O'Malley's Democratic party is actually applauding Ehrlich for keeping the tuition increases below the national average. Ehrlich 2, Dumass 0.

* As mentioned before, O'Malley would not provide the courtesy of allowing Ehrlich free time to speak during his rebuttal. O'Malley continuously interrupted with such invigorating responses such as, "I know you are, but what am I?" and "Anything I say bounces off of me and sticks to you!" Most people, including my liberal wife found this really annoying. Ehrlich 3, Dumass 0.

* O'Malley did not answer one of the questions presented by the MPT moderator, but instead inserted Ehrlich ties to Bush and Enron. Ehrlich responded something like, "Way to go, Marty! You didn't answer the question. Way to accuse me of Enron's problems." Ehrlich 4, Dumass 0.

* O'Malley prided his city school's miserable accomplishments. He pointed out that City College, Poly, and Baltimore City School for the Arts are 3 of the 10 best schools in the state. Read the application process to get into these schools. It reads like a private school. "Are you saying that you have to apply to these schools and the schools can choose to only accept the smartest kids from the pool???!!!" Ehrlich 5, Dumass 0.

Fuel the Fire

I will be attending the Maryland State Teachers Convention in Ocean City this week. It's always a good time. It's amazing how many of them pride themselves with their outspoken liberal leanings. Leanings? Hell, they fell over. I will be wearing an 'Ehrlich / Cox" t-shirt. I friend close to the campaign got this for me. When I asked how much I needed to pay him, he replied, "anyone willing to wear an Ehrlich /Cox t-shirt to the Maryland State Teachers Convention gets a t-shirt on the house." Hoo-rah!

If you would like to volunteer or help out with election day, please visit this site:

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

No More Air Lickers

No More Air Lickers

On October 7th, the State of Maryland awarded the title of Maryland Teacher of the Year to the most deserving and accomplished teacher in the state. However, there is a caveat this year. It is called the Linda Eberhart Rule.

If you have not listened to the radio in the last 8 seconds, Linda Eberhart is a previous winner of the Maryland Teacher of the Year. Yes, this is the name of the teacher who has no freakin' clue as to the pronunciation of the name of our state's Governor. Rumors that she must also be a winner of the city's Almost Qualified to Teach Award are unfounded.

Ms. Eberhart has emphatically, and relentlessly I may add, reminded us that she endorses Martn Amalley. (I'm going to spell how she says it). The state has effectively issued a gag order to all winners preventing them from exploiting their award to endorse political candidates in the future.

Miscellaneous Politics

A judge dropped the criminal charges against Thomas V. Mike Miller alleging that he cold-cocked developer Leo Bruso after a meeting. Charges were dropped for lack of evidence. This goes to prove that you can get away with punching someone, as long as no one saw it and you are a powerful Democrat in the Maryland General Assembly.

Empire of the Sun

There were 2 headlines on Tuesday covering the same topic. The first headline read:

"Firings of state workers found to violate law"

The second headline read:

"Panel Chair Says Ehrlich Firings not "Blatantly Illegal"

Guess which headline is from the Baltimore Sun and which one is from This proves that you cannot trust anyone in the press that hasn't endorsed a Republican since Abraham Lincoln.

Google It

On October 9th, the Chicago Tribune reported that Google will purchase for $1.65 billion. On October 11th, Constellation Energy agreed to sell 6 gas-fired power plants for $1.64 billion. Are you telling me that 6 gas-fired power plants that provide electricity for hundreds of thousands of people are worth less than a website that posts videos made by 13 year olds of their friends falling off of trampolines?

The plants sold generate 3,145 megawatts of electricity. On the other hand, youtube's website has millions of hits per day from under-worked Americans who surf the net every day instead of working. Reportedly, some of these Americans work at gas-fired power plants that provide electricity to homes that run computers used to upload video of 13 year olds falling off of trampolines.

Stop the Genocide, and the misrepresentation!

A commercial began airing that shows footage of mutilated Africans. Then the footage pans to a picture of George W. Bush. The ads ends with a message calling for Bush to stop the Genocide now. This, of course, refers to the horrific ethnic cleansing occurring in the Darfur region in Sudan.

The commercial seems to imply that Bush is responsible for the genocide. It makes no reference to the fact that Islamic extremists are killing Black Christians, Animists, and Nubian Black Muslims. This week, the group calling itself Save Darfur, though fighting for a noble cause, gets the Ouy Kcuf Award for its irresponsible ad. We know the United Nations has done little to stop the violence. But this shouldn't be life shattering news.

Let's now relate this to another world event. During the 1990's and early 2000's, it is estimated that Saddam Hussein killed 300,000 Kurds, residents of northern Iraq. Who came to the rescue of these people? We can certainly state unequivocally that the United Nations did not. I think they demanded tough sanctions. Ooo!!!! Please, Braer Fox, not the sanctions! Anything but that! You can throw me into the Briar Patch, but please, Braer Bear, no sanctions!

Kim Jong Yu Ma KIng Me-Il, Part 2

On the Daily Show on Tuesday, Jon Stewart pointed out that in 2003, the world thought that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. The response? The U.S. and its coalition invaded the country and removed the dictator.

On October 8th, North Korea DID explode a nuclear device. How did the world respond? The United Nations said it "strongly condemned" the action, calling it a "grave challenge that violates international norms". The blast was also said to be unacceptable, complicated, and difficult. The corrupt U.N. Secretary General, Kofi Annan and his Security Council, even demanded that the U.S. go talk to North Korea. What?!! Are they afraid to do it themselves?

If I were U.N. Secretary General, not only would I act like Kofi and get my friends and family jobs, and enjoy kick-backs from the Oil-for-Food program, and enjoy the sexual escapades with U.N.'s female staff, then fire them, but I would also tell North Korea to quit with the WMD bullSH*T or we're coming in to kick your A$$!!! Why is that so hard? What's North Korea going to do, stop exporting manufactured goods? Nope - they don't make anything. Stop exporting agricultural products? Nope - they don't grow anything. The only trade in North Korea, according to Stephen Colbert, is the planning of ceremonial parades to honor the dear leader, Kim Jong Il.

But Seriously

On Wednesday, a plane crashed into a New York City high-rise. It was later learned that one of the victims was New York Yankee pitcher, Cory Lidle. Lidle was a husband and a father of a six year old boy. The seriousness of the news was demonstrated by the fact that ESPN interrupted a taped poker game. Additionally, in another demonstrated that the press has as much class as a Saturday afternoon, they were more concerned about being the first to report "the news" and Cory Lidle's father learned of his son's death while watching TV. Doesn't that just piss you off? Cory Lidle, may you rest in peace.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Mixed Bag, But Still No'Malley

Mixed Emotions

Today's message is a mixed bag. First, the Yankees were eliminated from the playoffs this weekend when they got trounced by the Detroit Tigers. All of a sudden, there were millions of Detroit Tigers fans all over the nation.

The New York press did what it does best, turns accomplishment into failure. Joe Torre has guided the Yankees to the playoffs for 13 straight seasons. His reward? The New York Post is demanding his resignation. His potential replacement? Tampa Bay's old manager, Loui Pinnella. His best accomplishment in the city of Tampa (and for you Baltimore City school graduates, the city's name is Tampa, not Tampa Bay)? His best season there was 21 games under .500. New York - you deserve what you get.

Does anyone remember what the Cleveland Indians did to Mike Hargrove after he led them to their 5th straight division title, but no World Series title? They fired him. Why? Because they wanted that manager that could take them to the next level. Their answer? They promoted the batting coach, Charlie Manuel. He took them to the playoffs once, probably on the momentum that Hargrove had in place. Since then, they have managed to be 12 games, 18 games, 20.5 games, and 22 games out of first. In the city where the river routinely caught on fire in the 60's and 70's, the next level after success must be abysmal failure.

Are His Glasses Half Dorky or Half Nerdy?

North Korea has been playing this game of "I know you are, but what am I" with the its neighbors and the United Nations for several years now. President Bush called them one of members of the Axis of Evil. Kim Jung-il, irritated that no one ever told him that he looks like a 1970's social studies teacher with bad glasses, decided to fulfill his country's image and reportedly detonated a nuclear device. There have been no official reports to confirm or deny this report.

In response, President Bush has announced that any attack on South Korea or Japan is to be considered an attack on the United States. There is no word on how the U.S. would respond to a North Korean attack on China. Most predict absolute laughter.

You Say Tomatos, I Say F-off

Bob Ehrlich, proving that he doesn't always know when to keep his mouth shut, stated that he is not sure if he would have nominated Lt. Governor candidate Kris Cox if she was not blind.

To make matters worse, Martin O'Malley immediately issued a press release that Ehrlich "questioned the qualifications of his pick for lieutenant governor and implied that she was chosen because she is blind."

In related news, there is a rumor that Martin O'Malley said something to the effect that he loves having sex with multiple women, once danced naked on a table top at The Hippo, and has not used heroine in over 5 months. No one at his campaign headquarters reponded to my request for a comment before publishing this post. Granted, I gave them 10 seconds to respond after I left a message. But that's not the point. The point is that they are not taking these accusations seriously.

Minority Report

The Democrats claim to be the party of the African Americans. That's why the first African American elected to a higher office in the state is Michael Steele, a Republican. Trying to keep pace, Martin "It's all shades of white and brown to me" O'Malley nominated Anthony Brown to be his running mate. I think it was quite clever to nominate someone with the last name of Brown. That ought to get some of the African-American vote. However, Anthony Brown is not African-American. His father is from Jamaica. He immigrated to American to attend Fordham University. His mother is from Switzerland. Look on the cover of a box of Swiss Miss. That is what someone from Switzerland looks like. Anthony Brown is about as African-American as Parris Glendening is a Marylander. It just ain't so!

In Summary...

That's all folks. Post a comment to my blog. I would like to read what you are thinking. And don't forget to order a "Vote NO'Malley bumper sticker". Email to get yours today!!!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Help Not Wanted in Maryland

Businesses: Stay Out!!!

This is the message that the Democrats ruling the State Senate, House of Delegates, our U.S. Senators, and our U.S. Congressman of Maryland are sending to businesses. They are not interested in "Big Businesses" coming to the state because they are evil and greedy.

A report released by the Maryland Business for Responsive Government ranked our elected officials based on their voting records on legislation that affected business.

The Short of It Is...
Our beloved Barbara Mikulski, who was once asked to portray Bilbo Baggins' mother, received a whopping rating of 17%. For those of you who went to city public schools, that's not a good number.

The retiring Senator Paul Sarbanes received a 14% rating. He got more than 85% of his political donations from outside of the state, I guess because he was not able to generate money from in this state. I wonder why.

Republican Wayne Gilchrest, received a rating of 80%, while western Maryland Republican Roscoe Bartlett received an 85%. That's the good news about Roscoe Bartlett. When he originally ran and won his office 7 elections ago, he promised term-limitations. How ironic!

What's worse for the state of Maryland is that it ranked 46th out of 50 (again, for those who went to city public schools, there are 50 states in the United States). The only states we beat out were Hawaii (their only export being Magnum P.I. repeats), Rhode Island, Vermont (yes, I forgot that Vermont was still a state, too!), and the Peoples Socialist Republic of Massachusetts.

What our elected officials forget is that most of us work for businesses. Everyone who works for a homeless person or a poor person, please stand up.

The ironic part is that these candidates love their business money. The top money grabbers? Ben Cardin and Steny Hoyer.

Hippos and Hypocrites
Ben Cardin is currently criticizing Michael Steele for his ad promise to get rid of campaign gifts and reduce political donations. Cardin says that Steele is being a hypocrite for accepting money and then stating that Congress should not get the money.

Hello Ben! There is a message for you at the Office of Obvious. It says that if he does not accept this money, he cannot beat you.

It is time for you to collect some more campaign money. Try collecting at the Hippo. Or its cross-town rival, the Rhino.

No'Malley Limerick

A Little Fun

The following limerick is purely fictional and there are no records to prove that it actually happened. Until proven otherwise, this is for entertainment purposes only.

I once knew a girl, who went to Nantucket,
She walked around with her head in a bucket.
Dragging her toes in the white sand,
Skipping along with her beau in her hand.
When they came across some clothes and a sandal,
Could it be a political scandal?
Martin O’Malley, awash in the nude,
Rubbing the back of some naked dude.
A day trip from an overnight cruise?
Certainly not that girl from the news.
Oh, well. I guess we were wrong,
So now he sings a different song.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

O'Malley Consumer Alert


This is a consumer alert.

It has been determined that voting for Martin O'Malley may be hazardous to your health. Preliminary studies have shown that voting for O'Malley has the potential for causing indigestion, gastrointestinal discomfort, rectal irritation, dizziness, mild forms of skin rashes, shortness of breath, muscle cramping, long periods of insomnia followed by short periods of lethargy, sore throat, premature baldness, fungal infections under your big toe nail, joint pain, itchy nose, watery eyes, chapped lips, and hernias.

More serious cases have also shown job loss, income redistribution, hemorrhoids, awkward silent periods with your neighbors, coughing, sneezing, hiccups, flat tires, bounced check penalties, higher gas prices, penile erectile dysfunction for men and loss of sexual appetite for women, telephone calls from telemarketers, increased crime, lower standards for our children's education, higher levels of anger due to rhetoric that no one understands, and flat beer.

In rare cases, the letter W will stick on your keyboard, puppy abuse (especially to Michael Steele's puppy), disorder in our juvenile justice system, corruption in our local level government offices, bruised elbows, back stabbings, guitar performances by drunk mayors (I've seen that photo!), smelly ice cubes, green spots on old Bologna, and accountability will be removed from our teachers.

A study by a very important organization shows that his policies are high in fat, cholesterol, rhetoric, polysorbate acid, trans-fats, and most are sugar coated. My followers have found that it looks and tastes good at first, but several bites into it, they find that it becomes sour and distasteful and has an awkward texture.

Consumers are warned to avoid voting for O'Malley at all costs. You have been warned.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Death of the Death Penalty

And Justice For All

On May 27, 2004, illegal aliens Policarpio Espinoza and Adan Canela sliced the throats of their young family members, Lucero Espinoza 8, Ricardo Espinoza 9, and Alexis Espejo Quezeda 10. They children were found nearly decapitated. Their blood was everywhere. Officers that arrived on the scene were crying at the sight they discovered.

An investigation found the children's' blood on Policarpio and Adan's clothes. A bloody knife was found in their possession that matched the blood of the children. The children had blood and skin under their fingernails that matched Policarpio and Adan's. It was suspected that the children clenched their tiny hands into the skin of their killers as they were screaming for dear life.

Now for the crazy part. The family members have criticized the Baltimore City Police for having arrested the wrong people. Huh????? Baltimore City Police get a lot of crap, but I think they got this one right.

Now, to make matters worse, during sentencing, Circuit Judge David B. Mitchell stated, "In these cases, the severity of the deaths and the facts that surround their demise calls for the severest sentence we can give." Yeah!!! Give it to them!!!

Their sentence? Two life sentences plus thirty years! Are you serious????? They killed 3 young children, not an f-in stray cat!

I predict that the ACLU will be all over this. Oh, the brutality of this harsh sentence! I suspect that these 2 killers will be subject to cafeteria-style food, unfashionable prison jump suits, and old magazines. There may even by some unflattering name-calling by some of the rougher prisoners.

Drip and Drop

In a related story, the lawyer for Vernon Evans, the man convicted of killing Scott Piechowicz and his sister-in-law, Susan Kennedy, both employees at a Pikesville hotel, has called for the death penalty to be abolished in Maryland. He claims that lethal injection in cruel and unusual.

First the cruel part. The needles that are used can cause excruciating pain and the drug that is delivered can burn and be very painful. Okay, I donated blood last week. That needle caused excruciating pain and the iodine really burned as it mixed with the blood at the surface. One of my coworkers passed out and was forced to eat cookies and drink Coke for 4 hours. Can I sue the American Red Cross for cruel and unusual punishment? Are convicted heartless murders precluded from going to the dentist? I had a tooth removed, and wouldn't you know it, they used a needle and it hurt like hell. Did the dentist realize how much pain he was inflicting on me?

This is getting out of hand. Pain? The lawyer says that Evans' intravenous drug use complicates the matter. If you ask me, it gives me more peace of mind knowing that this guy's last sight will be the drop-ceiling in the execution room as he is sent to eternal damnation for a fiery life in hell. His last image of life on Earth shouldn't be when he's 85 years old from the comfy confines of his cell while watching David Letterman's Top Ten List.

Unusual? There have been 1,047 executions since capital punishment was reinstated in 1976. There are 3,370 people currently sitting on death row. And Death Row Records signed Tupac Shakur and Snoop Doggy Dog, but that's not important right now.

It does not seem unusual to execute someone by lethal injection. It's a needle. It would be unusual to execute someone with a cheese grater and rubbing alcohol or an apple peeler and salt (both my preferred method of execution of murderers).

Many people argue that the death penalty is not a deterrent of crime. Who the frick said we needed it as a deterrent? It's revenge! You killed someone! Do liberals and public defenders (okay, they're one and the same) have any compassion for the victims or the families? These people took someone's life! Many had children. Many are children. If someone killed one of my kids, I would hunt them down and take care of business myself. I would be the most famous vigilante of all time. I ain't relying on the government for a speedy 2 year trial that will send the killers to a lifetime rent-free room in Jessup.

I wonder how Dr. McDreamy feels about this subject? For that, check out Twinkie's blog. Twinkie, thanks for the plug! Back at you!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Dutch and Dork

Truth in Advertising

The truth matters. Except when no one knows any better. In one of O'Malley's latest commercials, as heard every 15 seconds on most radio stations, he is endorsed by the Maryland State Teachers Association (MSTA). Obvioulsy they used a local media company.

First, they hire a woman who claims to be Maryland State Teacher of the Year. This woman won the award several years ago, which is fine. This woman's roots are, without a doubt, in Baltimore. She has no idea how to pronounce the name of the Governor. More than 5 times in the ad, she calls him Bob Airlick. You would think that a teacher would know how to pronounce Ehrlich. Perhaps she teaches in the thriving Baltimore City Schools.

Second, this lady claims that Bob Airlick raised tuition 40% while Governor. My first question is, raised tution 40% at what school? I did a little investigating. The tuition for the University of Maryland System is determined by the University of Maryland Board of Regents, not the Governor. Parris Glendening, as a present to Bob Ehrlich, knowing that Kathleen Kennedy Townsend, daughter of Robert Kennedy and granddaughter of Joseph Kennedy who made millions on insider information in the stock market, would not be elected, approved a huge budget for the University of Maryland, but would leave the funding decisions to Ehrlich.

In a related story, in the 2002 Democratic primary, K. Kennedy Townsend lost 20% of the vote to Robert Fustero, a retired grocery store clerk who ran his campaign on $1000. When Ehrlich was asked to comment about that statistic, he said, "Imagine if Fustero would have spent $2000!"

Let's Go Dutch
Dutch Ruppersburger, the Congressman who was using eminent domain to confiscate 300 water-front properties of blue-coller, mid and lower middle class working families, is now helping to campaign for O'Malley, the child of rich and prominant Montgomery County family. He wants mid and lower middle class families to trust him and help O'Malley become Governor. It's hard to argue with that. If someone takes my house to give to a rich developer, I would trust him with my vote - just like I would trust Jerry Lee Lewis with my 14 year old niece.

Also in this commercial, Dutch (and I'm not referring to Ronald Reagan) claims that education is wonderful in Bal'mer City. In fact, 3 of the 10 best schools in the state are located in Bal'mer City. Oh, now it clicked. That's why working class families with children are driving up housing prices in the city. They are anxious to get them into city schools! Oh, wait, perhaps it's a trick. Here are some top city schools: Archbishop Curley, Mount St. Joseph's, Roland Park Country School, The Gilman School, Bryn Mawr, etc... What do these schools have in common? They are the private schools. I will write to Dutch and ask him which schools he is referring to.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Save Baltimore, Vote for Ehrlich

Baltimore is in Trouble

O'Malley, The Great Rhetoric

O'Malley is the King of Rhetoric. Whenever Bob Ehrlich mentions that Baltimore City schools are the worst in the state, O'Malley quickly responds that it is not fair to the hard working students, parents, and teachers to attack them and belittle their improvements.

The fact is, Baltimore City graduation rates are near the worst in the country. According to EPE Research Center in an article that appears in the USA Today, Baltimore City schools are second worst only to Detroit for the worst graduation rate of the 50 largest school districts in the country. They show the graduation rate of Baltimore as 38.5%. This is worse than Cleveland! And they say Cleveland rocks? It rocks more than Baltimore. Interestingly, 5 of the 50 largest school districts are in Maryland - Baltimore City, Baltimore County, Montgomery County, Prince George's County, and Anne Arundel County.

What everyone suspects is that Martin O'Malley is altering the way the graduation statistics are calculated. This should come as no surprise since he altered the crime statistics when he took office. His motive for this was to show crime as being higher than previously reported, therefore it would be easier to show a decrease in crime. However, the police keep stubbornly finding dead bodies all over the city. Fortunately for the crime stats, shoot-outs are now classified as suicide.

The speculated calculation rate, as determined by Baltimore City Public Schools headquarters located on beautiful North Avenue, every suburban family's shopping destination (at least up until the 1950's), was to calculate how many students starting their senior year actually graduate. The theory is that most of the students that will drop out of school have already dropped out by this time. However, standard graduation calculations start with incoming freshman and calculate how many of these actually graduate. Using this method, Baltimore City does not look so good. Neither does Martin O'Malley. But he's still kind of cute.

Save Baltimore
I love the city of Baltimore. I have lived in "Baltimore" all of my life, sparing 3 years that I spent in South Carolina to finish college. Should Martin O'Malley win the gubernatorial election, City Council President Sheila Dixon becomes the Mayor until the next election. Not familiar with Sheila Dixon?

Sheila Dixon is the aunt of former Maryland Terps star and now NBA star Juan Dixon. She helped raise him when both of his parents died. Looking at Juan's determination and success, you could say she did a admirable job.

Sheila Dixon likes to help her family. Her sister Janice worked for the 4-person company of Utech, which was given contracts from Comcast. Sheila Dixon, as President of the City Council, awarded these contracts to Utech. The problem is Sheila Dixon did not tell anyone that her sister was employed by them. Ethics law violation? Sounds like one. According to protocol, she should have abstained from voting on issues involving Utech, but she did not. Dixon explains that she did not realize that Utech's full name was Union Technologies, which was used in the contracts. Right. And I didn't know that the FBI had nothing to do with Female Body Inspectors.

Another issue is that Sheila Dixon improperly hired her sister as an assistant. Nepotism is frowned upon in government, except when your father-in-law in Joseph Curran and your wife is a judge. However, we should not come down hard on Dixon for not knowing the law. 10 of 19 other council members also had family members on their staff. I think the rule is that if more people are in violation of a law than people that aren't, then it's okay. Additionally, she and other member of the council also received gifts from Arrow Parking and Comcast, another violation of Baltimore's ethics laws. Yes, laws can be ambiguous and unclear. I once told a police office that I did not realize you had to take the speed limit signs literally. I thought they were a suggestion. I, however, was not cleared of any wrong-doing.

Not enough? Sheila Dixon also steered $600,000 in no-bid contracts to her former campaign chairman, Dale Clark. As E.J. Pipkin would say, "Who knew?!"

Council members are calling the investigations a witch hunt. Well, when you're a witch, I guess you should expect these kinds of things. What do you do with witches? Burn them! What burns besides witches? More witches!!!

And let's not forget when the University of Maryland basketball team won the NCAA Championship. There was a rally held at City Hall which I attended. The always charismatic Martin O'Malley introduced every-other player with the enthusiasm that you would expect from a PA announcer at a professional game. Sheila Dixon introduced the other players as if she just learned English, and did she butcher them.

Steve Blake was introduced as Steve Francis. If I was Steve Blake, I'd be offended. Steve Blake knows where Vancouver is on a map. Dixon then congratulated the Terps with their NAACP victory. Again, I think Steve Blake was offended.

So what is my point? All in all, I do not think Martin O'Malley is doing a BAD job as the Mayor of Baltimore. He's certainly distorting the facts. However, I do not think that we should trust our city to the hands of the bumbling and corrupt City Council President. For the sake of the honest and hard working people of Baltimore, you deserve better than Sheila Dixon. Keep O'Malley as your Mayor!
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