Friday, January 06, 2012

Breaking in the New Health Insurance

You probably noticed that I haven't blogged all week. That would be because we spent a good part of the week at this place:

University of Maryland hospital. Obviously this is a picture I took in the fall. The best part about this most recent visit is we now have new health insurance at American Corrugated Amalgamated Conglomerates of America. I think we hit the annual deductible limit already. On January 3rd! Yay!!!

Fortunately, for the most part, everything is okay with my daughter. Just a lot of tests and monitoring. If it's not one thing it's 10 others.

I do have to mention this, though. I had to go to the pharmacy at the hospital. There was a bit of a line, so I stood in the line minding my own business. "Officer, I was just standing there minding my own business!" Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a short older African-American woman walk in and stand behind me. I heard her mutter something and I wasn't sure if she was talking to me or not, so I turned around to see. Instantly I knew she was a crazy person. When I turned around she looked up at me and made another unintelligible utterance. Regardless of whether she was talking to me or not, I decided that I wasn't going to listen.

A few minutes later a younger woman and her son walked in and stood in line behind her. The crazy lady turned around and the two women knew each other and immediately started talking. Now I could understand her a little better. Here is some of their conversation.

Your little boy had quite a party last week.
He sure did. We had fun.
Yay, me too. I don't think I made it home that night.

Fred asked me to move in with him, but he only got one bedroom. He said I could sleep in his room, but he only got one bed and I told him I ain't movin' in, but I'll come visit.

I got my check from Housing. It was for $1,000. I wanted a 3 bedroom place, but the check said I gots to get a 2 bedroom place. But if you talk to the man sometime he let you stay in a 3 bedroom.

When I moved in I ain't got no bed. I went back to Housing and they said they give me a voucher for a bed if I go out and price one. I was gonna go down Archie's and get a bed, but I din't.

Pardon my French, but that's f**king bullsh*t!!!

Finally I made it up to the counter and got away from the insanity. It's amazing to see how the common people live. I don't mean to say common to sound like an elitist. But people like her are more common than people like me at the hospital. The pharmacist told me it would be an hour and a half until my prescriptions would be ready. So I left and came back 90 minutes later.

When I returned, crazy lady was sitting there waiting. There was still a long line and the pharmacist was helping people as fast as he could. Crazy lady got up, went to the pharmacist and said, "Where's my goddamn medicine?"
It'll be ready soon. I apologize for the delay, but we've been really busy this afternoon. I'll call your name as soon as I see that it's complete.
What the f**k you mother f**kers doin' back there? Mother f**kers is pissin' me off!!!!
Okay, I'll let you know when it's ready.

I wanted to give him a gold star for maintaining his composure, but I suspect that he's heard that before.

Fortunately, we are back home and we no longer have to worry about older ladies and the mother-f**kers.

Happy New Year!

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