Thursday, May 01, 2008

Happy 11th Anniversary

Today, May 11th, is my 11th anniversary here at XYZ Vinyl Sidings and Discount Medications Company. Specifically I work in the technology department of the mutual funds division.

I started here in 1997 after a 3 month job search since being laid off from my job as a packaging supervisor at the now-demised Carr Lowrey Glass Company. I wasn't too keen on working there anyway. My time there included seeing a floating body in the Middle Branch, the erection of barbed wire fences around the company, several foot chases by Baltimore City's finest chasing Martin O'Malley's worst, and dozens of breaking and entering of cars and houses.

In the 11 years that I've worked here, I have worked in 5 different buildings, had 13 supervisors, 7 managers, sat in 13 different desks, and been promoted 9 times.

Also in that span of time, I've had 75 idiot coworkers, 9 great coworkers, have had to beat of 14 female admirers (though I will still accept nude photos), heard over 13,000 inappropriate jokes, terrorized one cubicle while she was on her honeymoon (Hi, Kim!), and have had 6 annual reviews (yes, I know.)

Since 1997, I have worked under 2 presidents, suffered under Democratic Governor Glendenning, prospered under Republican Governor Ehrlich, and am now suffering again under Democratic Governor O'Malley. The same 2 elitist thugs are still running the Maryland General Assembly, though one (Mike Miller) promises to retire at the end of this term. The other (Mike Busch) will just keep getting fatter - both in the wallet and the waste. I expect that his ego will make his head explode before he retires.

I have purchased a home, 2 cars (remarkably), and fathered 3 children (that I know of). I have edited 25,000 Wikipedia articles, and written nearly 100. In an unrelated note (I think) I have been called a nerd 17,000 times.

Since 1997, I started and graduated from Loyola College with my MBA, and have received additional credits from UMBC, George Washington University, and almost a credit from a vocational school, though I did get kicked out for not knowing what a pneumatic impact wrench was. I still think that professor had it out for me. He was just super jealous of my sweet nunchuck skills.

So here I am, 11 years later - still not doing much work, but certainly putting on a good show. Here's to 11 more!


Mark Newgent said...

Happy Anniversary! Those eleven years seem to have turned you into a wise old sage.

What articles have you edited or written for Wikipedia?

Eludius said...

More than half of the bios for Maryland Republican State Senators and Delegates were written by me. I've also written a few dozen high school pages.

Here's my user page. I've documented which pages I've created.

bricknhymr said...

Congrats on 11 years. Maybe you will get an annual review you know... annually.

MrsTwink said...

NERD! hahahaha...

I hope I'm one of the 9 great co-workers or we're going to fight in the parking lot.

mdduckman said...

Make that 17,001 times you've been called a Nerd...

(this from a fellow nerd, of course!)

CAG Incognito said...

How the heck did I miss this one?! I know I probably didn’t make it into that list of nine, but I still think you’re swell and funny as hell! LMAO (Wait..that rhymed… I got skillz)
I know you are not talking about those credits for GW from those ESI classes. LMAO Are those real? I just thought they were for show. LOLOLOL

And why did you fib and say you still work in IT? LIES! You deserted us! LOL

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