O'Malley Decreases Traffic Deaths

Maryland Governor Martin O'Malley continues to stick to his rule of taking credit for all good statistics.

Today, the Baltimore Sun reported that highway deaths are down over 50% for the first month and a half of the year. Common sense tells you that if the roads have been covered with snow for 2 weeks of those 6 weeks, then people would be driving less.

However, Slick Marty claims that the reduction are the results of his efforts to step up law enforcement and to convince people to not drive so fast. You know, I was driving down the road the other day going way too fast and Little Marty popped up on my dashboard and in that fatherly voice said, "Eludius, don't drive so fast. Driving too fast is dangerous and you could kill someone." I thought, "Gosh darn-it! You're right!" And I slowed down. And by slowing down, I didn't kill 5 people. I hope he records that his conversation with me saved 5 lives.

I should also mentioned that Martin O'Malley helped me reduce my credit card bill last month by 25%. And he helped me read 10% more pages of my book. And I got 17% more sleep last week. Martin O'Malley - making all of our lives better. This message is not paid for by VoteNoMalley.