Surprise - Snow!!!

Last night the weather people said that we would most likely wake up to some icy streets. If there was snow it would be farther out west.

I woke up this morning at 6:50am to the sound of a shovel scraping against the pavement. I quickly sprang to my feet, threw open the sash, and show a fat little man and eight tiny reindeer. Oops, wrong story. I awoke and peeked behind the honeycomb blinds and looked out the double-paned Anderson windows and saw that it had snowed.

I went downstairs and looked out the front door and saw that we got about 2 inches of snow and ice. So we live way out west? And they say that we may get more of the same tonight. Icy streets or more snow?

One of my friends posted on Facebook "Where did all this snow come from?" My retort? "the sky!"

If I did my job as accurately as the weathermen, (or is it weather people?), I would have been fired a long time ago.

Abandoned Lot in Eldersburg?

I had heard that a diner was going to be built on the corner of Route 32 and Route 26. Was it a Double-T Diner? I thought it was, but cannot find anything on the Internet about it. And that lot has been sitting for a while and it is an eye-sore. It has a 7 or 8 foot chain-linked fence surrounding it. The owners need to do something about this. This may look okay in Randalstown, but this is unacceptable in Eldersburg.

So then I went to the Maryland Property Database. I found the address for Exxon since it is the next lot and it was 1305 Liberty Road. So then on the database I find that there is no 1307 Liberty Road, but the next one is 1309. It is owned by Liberty Bell Properties, care of Linda Sawczyn of Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

Doing a Google search of her I find that she donated $2300 to John Edward's Presidential campaign in 2008. I'm not sure if this was before or after he admitted he was having an affair while his wife while she was battling cancer. But I do know that this was during the time that he was busy suing doctors in North Carolina. He's saving the people while eliminated their doctors and driving up health care costs.

Unfortunately, that's all that I can find of her. I'm not sure if she's the owner of that plot of land, but I'll dig more and find out. If you know something more I'd love to hear!

Who's Reading Vote No'Malley?

I just checked my statistics on Sitemeter.com and someone reached my blog today from Iran by using the search terms "Girls with big boobs". How funny is that?

I get a lot of hits from Washington, D.C. Hi, Mr. President! Are you learning anything?

And from Mount Vista, California. Google - are you spying on me?

Unfortunately I am NOT getting any hits from Annapolis. You'd think O'Malley would be reading a blog with his name on it every day!!! Then again, you'd think O'Malley would do a lot of things and he's just not doing them.

Mt. Airy - Closed on Monday

I decided to use the remainder of my vacation this week and not carry-over the maximum of 5 days into next year. Instead I decided that I would use the time to chase naked women at the adult dance clubs and drink heavily. But then at the last minute I changed my mind and thought it might be a little better for the image if I spend some time with my kids.

I asked my son what he wanted to do and he said go fishing. Since it was 28° and the pond is frozen, I nixed that idea. He then said that whatever we did it couldn't be going to visit another President's house because those are stupid.

My daughter said that she wanted to go to Famous Dave's restaurant and go bowling. I asked my son if he wanted to go with us. He said yes at first. Then he asked if he didn't go to lunch would we come home and get him to go bowling. I said that we would come home go get him and he quickly declined the Famous Dave's part. You need to understand that my son hates meat. He won't declare himself a vegetarian (I don't even think by law he can legally call himself a vegetarian at age 7). He does like chicken nuggets and will occasionally eat fish. He's more of a convenientarian.

My daughter and I left for Famous Dave's. I was salivating the whole way there thinking about eating those marinated pig parts. As we read the menu my daughter asked, "You know what's better than ribs?" "Nothing!" I proudly declared. "Wrong!" she quickly retorted. "More ribs!" Well, okay then!

After we ordered, we were looking around and I commented that our waitress is very pretty, but she'd be even prettier if she smiled now and then. My daughter then said, "I wouldn't smile if I worked here either. You'd be tortured by having to serve all that food and you can't have any." Oh, that apple didn't fall far.

Once we finished our meal we headed back home to pick up my son. Then it was off to Mt. Airy to go bowling. If you are not familiar with Mt. Airy, it's one of those old towns with a Main Street and an interesting historical downtown section that is accompanied by a bypass lined with townhouses and developments. Most people drive on by and don't see what is really interesting.

Mt. Airy Bowling sits on this side street that one would mistake for an alley. Much like the ones where politicians like Martin O'Malley convince their opponents to drop out of races for vague and unsubstantiated reasons.

Driving to the end of this alley-like road I felt a bump and suddenly like we were flying in the Millennium Falcon and the stars blurred and stretched out before us. And in an instant we were in a small town in the late 1950's - and there was the bowling alley.

Anchored by a rusty Coke sign sat the bowling alley. Clad with painted cinder-block walls, this was a vestige to Opie Taylor, Ward Cleaver, and Dennis Mitchell. Inside, it was not quite the 1950's that I would have expected from the outside. Instead, it's late 80's decor. Gone is the Pac-Man machine, but there are the upright video game consoles, smelly bowling shoes, and grumpy employees who hate all things bowling.

We finished our game of duckpin bowling. My son didn't like it too much. If he doesn't crush his opponents then the game is stupid. When we turned in our shoes and paid (they did not accept credit cards), I asked if there were any ice cream places around (even though it was about 32° at this point). The owner looks out over the lanes and scratches his whiskers, then tilts his CAT Diesel hat to the left and says, "Now that I think about it, there isn't a ice cream place in this town." I embellish a little. He was finely dressed, polite, friendly, and wore a polo shirt.

We decided that despite its lack of an ice cream parlor, we would roam the block of downtown historic Mt. Airy. And to my surprise, most of Mt. Airy is closed on Monday. Say what?

So it was back to the car and head for home. Despite the spare time, visiting downtown was a strike. But bowling in Mt. Airy was fun.

Qdoba to Eldersburg

Good news from Eldersburg.net. I cross-verified this in the Baltimore Business Journal. Qdoba is opening a new store in Eldersburg. It will occupying the old Hollywood Video store that's next to the Papa John's on Liberty Road.

I think this is fantastic news. I really like Qdoba. It's no Chipotle, but Qdoba is a good second choice.


Also in the restaurant news, the A&W \ KFC will no longer offer the A&W portion. It will now be a stand-alone KFC. This is a shame because I really like their burgers. But then again I can't remember the last time I went there to get one. The problem with the A&W \ KFC in Eldersburg is that you wait in line for 15 minutes to order, then you stand there and wait another 20 minutes to pick it up. And one time they even told me they had no chicken. Are you kidding me? KFC has no chicken? That's be like the Maryland General Assembly not having any crooked politicians.

I'd also like to take this opportunity to list all of the new stores and restaurants that are coming to the Carrolltown Center, also known as the Dumpster Mall.

The new stores are:

*
*
*

That's right. Nothing. Black Oak Associates has been busy doing a lot of nothing. But then again, we're kind of used to that.

Separated at Birth?

Is it just me, or does the Socialist President of the United States look like DIY Yard Crashers host Ahmed Hassan? Ironically, one of them goes around making things better while the other one goes around making things worse.

Senators Cardin & Mikulski Hate Colleges

We are supposed to be curbing urban sprawl, right? And we have a lot of colleges in the Baltimore \ Washington area, right? Then why did Senator Cardin and Senator Mikulski seek $1 million for a new training center in Mount Airy that will train health care workers and dental hygienists?

After bragging about the her accomplishments in Warshington to help all Merlanders, Senator Mikulski said that the facility will be shared by the community colleges of Howard, Frederick, and Carroll Counties. I'm not attacking the allocation of money to this institutes of a little bit higher learning. However, I question what kind of facility can be built for $1 million. Seriously - houses in my neighborhood go for $500,000, so that would equate to 2 houses. They are going to construct a 5,000 ft facility with 4 parking spots to help train people? Senator Mikulski - is it near the wooder?

Would it not be better money spent to allocate the money to the existing colleges to expand their existing programs at their existing campuses that already do this very same function? Or does that make too much sense? Does Ben get a great thrill out of seeing money burn? I know Cardin and Mikulski need to show off spending money for Maryland. It's better to waste money than to get no money in the eyes of these 2 shallow tax and spend liberal extremist politicians. And we know that these 2 Senators are not good with money after supporting the $200 quadrillion health care plan.

So while Senators Cardin and Mikulski pontificate about being green and saving the environment on even numbered days, be wary of the odd numbered days as these are the ones that are the most destructive.

Cardin & Mikulski - Harry Reid's Lap Dogs

We all know that Senators Ben Cardin and Barbara Mikulski are tow-the-line tax and spend liberals that salivate at the mere mention of any socialist programs. Mention tax increases for the rich and middle class and Cardin gets that kid in a candy store grin. Mention increasing the size of the federal government and Mikulski starts jumping up and down doing the YMCA.

If you haven't heard already, Nebraska Democrat Senator Ben Nelson basically extorted millions of dollars from Americans not living in Nebraska. Americans will now have to foot the bill for expanding Medicare coverage in Nebraska, Nebraska-based Mutual of Omaha, won't have to pay taxes on so-called Medigap insurance, and I think some hookers from Harry Reid's home state of Nevada were thrown in for good measure.

In Louisiana, well-known home of corrupt local politics, Democrat Senator Mary Landreau secured a $300 million bump in Louisiana's Medicaid funding.

What sweetheart deals did Senator Cardin and Senator Mikulski secure for Maryland? Nothing. The only thing we can be sure of is that Maryland, home of a lot of middle class Americans, will get socked with huge tax increases that will be needed when Obamacare's dubious savings never appear.

Instead of rallying for our state, they romped around Harry Reid's podium like a couple of Pomeranians in heat sitting, speaking, rolling over, and basically wagging their tails to his every command. Unlike Nebraska and Louisiana whose Senators held out for their booty, our Senators were the first to sit on Harry Reid's lap.

Nebraska - win. Louisiana - win. Maryland - lose.

John Sarbanes Supports Corruption in Baltimore City

You know the rule - silence is an implicit endorsement. I Googled the Internet expecting to find Representative John Sarbanes' criticism or rebuke of Sheila Dixon and her pending embezzling charge. I found nothing. I gave him a couple of weeks. And now what do I find? Nothing.

John Sarbanes, who was elected on his daddy's tails, should be concerned about her corrupt behavior. After all his illegally drawn gerrymandered district goes right through Baltimore City. But, alas, he remains silent. A silent endorsment of corruption? Probably not. A tolerant acceptance of corruption? I cannot think of any other reason.

Representative Sarbanes - I would love to hear why you have been silent without giving us the rhetoric of "wanting the legal process to take its course."

Congressional map from nationalatlas.gov

Carrolltown Mall Update - December 2009

I know you've all been dying to see what's new and exciting at Carrolltown Mall since that big renovation started. However, I am sad to inform you that we've been duped.

Fortunately there is some good news. You may recall that the mall had leased space to a beat-up storage trailer. Well, they've upgraded to 2 new shiny pods. So if you need storage space, please contact Pack Rat at 1-800-Pack-Rat.


Speaking of rats, we all heard that the Flagshit (oops, Flagship) Cinema, the only movie theater in the South Carroll (Eldersburg \ Sykesville area) closed. I decided to capture a picture if it before it collapses from neglect.


Remember the dead trees in the parking lot next to Hemlock Drive across from the Eldersburg Library that I complained about recently? Well they finally cut them down. Unfortunately, in typcal Black Oak Associates-style, they only paid them enough money to cut them down, not haul away the wood. So in an effort to save money, I suspect Dixon Harvey requested that the tree company strew the dead branches all over the parking lot. Oh, and leave the stumps. That way the thousands of people that visit the mall each day will have a nature-like place to sit.



Remember the liquor store that was in the Carrolltown Mall? That space is now empty, like 90% of the mall. However, if you look across the street, you will see the new liquor store. And next door to the liquor store is a new pharmacy. Now Eldersburgers can conveniently get their liquor and drugs at one stop.

Sykesville Wants More Money - Bring On the Speed Cameras

Sykesville Police Chief John Williams Jr.indicated that he wants more booty, so he will sock it to the people of South Carroll through the use of speed cameras. He said it will be in the name of safety for children, which is a euphemism for "I want more booty".

The law that allows for speed cameras was recently passed by the nearly socialist-leaning Maryland legislature. The law requires speed studies and if the site qualifies, they may be installed within a 1/2 mile radius. Fortunately for the money-hungry power mongers in Sykesville, almost the entire town is within a 1/2 mile of a school.

Unfortunately, only 10% of the speed camera fine of $40 goes toward local public safety. The article indicates that the remainder goes to the state, but I challenge that. If I am not mistaken the company that operates the cameras (Lockeed ?) gets most of the money. What is left is spent on rave parties in the House of Delegates and gas-guzzling SUV's for our state senators.

Fortunately for our elected officials, most people are too stupid to understand what is going on or do not care enough to read the papers to find out. And since no one reads the local free papers they probably also don't know that a Bit of Tuscany's in Westminster has live Jazz on Sundays from 4-7 all through December.

Air Jamaica and the Congress Hate Marylanders

After reading and hearing this story on the news yesterday, I'm not sure who hates people from Maryland more - Air Jamaica or our U.S. Senators Ben Cardin & Babs Mikulksi.

Yesterday passengers were stranded on an Air Jamaica flight on the runway at BWI airport for more than 8 hours because of the heavy snow. In an effort to keep up communications with passengers, the pilots told them nothing. The plane got stuck on the runway. Multiple efforts to help the plane were unsuccessful. When the plane was finally able to return to the terminal, the passengers were punched in the face and given a coupon for a sandwich at Subway. No food or beverages were provided on the plane. And no hotel accommodations were provided when the flight was canceled. Thank you for flying Air Jamaica!

In similar news, it appears that the U.S. Senate, which includes Ben Cardin and Babs Mikulski, will pass the socialized healthcare plan that they keep telling us that we all want. Now we will be forced to wait in hospital lobbies for 8 hours with no food or beverages. Communication with the patients will be prohibited (though I think that's currently the law). When we enter the room doctors will be required by law to punch us in the face and give us a coupon for a free sandwich at Subway. Fortunatley, however, someone else will pay for it. Probably wealthy Americans that make over $50,000 per year. Small businesses will probably also be punished and hit with a healthcare plan tax.

Welcome to the modern age of customer service.

White Death

The panic has set in. Fortunately all 2 real news shows in Baltimore will have live 24 hour coverage to inform us of each 1/16 on an inch of accumulation from various locations throughout the metro area.

I woke up in a panic this morning not knowing what some stranger would be thinking walking along a major road at 6:30 a.m. Fortunately, WBAL was there to interview that guy.

And did you know that some parking lot in the city has 4 inches of snow? Had they not informed me of that fact I may have suddenly grown concerned later in the day. How much snow is in that parking lot in the city? Oh, no! Which channel will tell me?

Don't you hate being that person who legitimately needs to go grocery shopping close to the time when it starts snowing? My family needed milk - we drink about 2 gallons per week. After all there are 5 people in my family. My wife left for the grocery store at 9am - just after the 2 oldest kids got on the bus to head to the government-mandated institute of indoctrination. She arrived at Martin's in Eldersburg to find that there were zero parking spots. Zero. None. Nada. What the hell?

Safeway is the next (pardon the pun) safe destination. No one shops at Safeway since they have a delusional pricing system. Seriously. I've seen an ad that said: Coke 12 packs 3 for $12, save $5.99 each! Does the management's office in Safeway have a lot of glass mirrors on the desk?

Anyway - there were no parking spaces at Safeway either. So it was off to Shoppers Food Warehouse. My wife said that there were nearly 10 times as many people in the SFW parking lot than normal. Nearly 15 cars! She saved the day. We got the milk. I suggested to her that if SFW was too crowded to do our grocery shopping at the Exxon Quick Mart.

And what's the deal with snow and toilet paper? Do people poop more when it snows? Which reminds me....I need to go to he little library. I'll be back soon. Have fun in the snow!

Christmas List

I have received dozens of emails from my readers wanting to know what I wanted for Christmas. Not wanting to disappoint my following, here is my list:

Makita 12" Dual Slide Laser Guided Compound Miter Saw
Samsung 52" LCD HD TV
1977 Ferrari 308 GTB (red or black) with t-tops
Delta Machinery Drill Press
Jet 3HP Table Router
Magnum PI Season 6
Jet 9" x 20" Belt Drive Bench Lathe
Mission Style Oak TV Lift Cabinet
ZZ Top Key Chain
Nikkor 18-200 mm VR lens
Men's Brown Leather Rampant Boots
Brooks Brothers Traditional Fit Pinpoint Forward Dress Shirt
Subscription to Preservation Magazine
Dean Backwoods 6 string Banjo
Subscription to Cheese of the Month
Apple MacBook Pro
Delta 28-206 14 WC Band Saw
Black market bag of Pepper Jack Doritos
Martin O'Malley's resignation from office
Case of Tilburg Brown Ale
Bosch Evolution 800 Dishwasher

If you have any trouble finding any of these great gifts, please feel free to leave a comment and I will guide you in the right direction. And as always, thank you for thinking of me this holiday season!

Sweet Pea 3, MP3

Check out this toy for young kids. It's the Sweet Pea 3, an MP3 player. It's durable, large and easy to handle, and holds up to 700 songs. At $59, it's reasonable when compared to an iPod and it appears to be much more durable. And best of all, the Sweet Pea Toy Company is a toy sold by a small business, not sold by Wal-Mart or Big Toy Company from China. My wife ordered one for our daughter.

Rep Murtha Sick, Me, too

Pennsylvania Congressman John Murtha was hospitalized on Monday complaining of abdominal pains. I suspect the Congressman is sick to his stomach after the Senate proposed a $1.1 TRILLION spending budget.

Congressman Murtha is known for being implicated with his connection to Paul Magliocchetti, a powerful Washington lobbyist who closed his firm after being raided by the FBI for being connected to the Jack Abramoff scandal. Magliocchetti was a connected protégé of Congressman Murtha.

However, Murtha is best known for hating the people of Western Pennsylvania. He basically said that the people of Western Pennsylvania were racist, Bible reading, gun-toters.

The Christian-hating Congressman Murtha said to the Pittsburgh Post in 2008 that "...there's no question, western Pennsylvania is a racist area. "

Congressman Murtha, I hope you get well, but you still make me sick.

New Martin O'Malley Sex Scandal !!!

To the best of my knowledge - Martin O'Malley was not involved in a new sex scandal during the year of 2009. But it sure makes for a great headline, doesn't it?

Sykesville Fire Dept. Breakfast With Santa

The Sykesville Freedom District Volunteer Fire Department is holding their annual Breakfast With Santa.

Breakfast is $6 for adults, $3 for children 3-12 years old, and children under 3 are free.

There is a $5 fee for getting your picture taken with Santa, which also applies if you use your camera. However, all proceeds go to the fire department.

Support your local fire department and bring the kids for some all-you-can-eat breakfast. Need I say more?

Carrolltown Center - Dixon Harvey & Smelly Rhetoric

Black Oak President Dixon Harvey must be practicing to be a politician because he's so full of smelly poop.

In an article posted Sunday in the Carroll Eagle and cross-posted on The Sun, Harvey commented about the closing of the Flagship Cinema by stating that they are in the early stages of planning a new theater.

Early stages? If anyone understands rhetoric, 'early stages' means that he thought of it on the spot when asked about a replacement. The thought being in his head. I seriously doubt there's anything on paper. If there is - Mr. Harvey, I challenge you to share that with the community.

I'm in the early stages of planning my vacation in 2025. I'm in the early stages of buying presents for my grandchildren. I'm in the early stages of planning my move to South Carolina.

The Flagship Cinema in Eldersburg was closed on November 30th amid health concerns with moisture. I guess I should hope that K-Mart and the rest of Carrolltown Center Mall needs to close because of health concerns. Every time I go in there it makes me sick. And the condition of the mall and the stores it offers the citizens of Eldersburg makes us all sick.

O'Malley Saves the Day for Small Businesses

Despite his hatred of private companies, Martin O'Malley has proposed a $3,000 tax credit for small businesses that hire unemployed people. This is his plan for putting Marylanders back to work.

He mentioned that the state will spend $20 million for this program. When asked where that money will come from (since tax revenues are dropping faster than bodies in East Baltimore), O'Malley's voice got soft and fatherly and he then mumbled something incoherent.

Insiders have informed me that the tax credit for small business will be paid for by a new tax on small businesses. O'Malley's logic, they say, is that if they are going to reap the benefits, they should also pay for it.

Unfortunately, as there are now only 16 small businesses left in Maryland, the impact of the new tax credit will probably be as small as O'Malley's popularity in Carroll County.

Ravens Fan Cruise

Here's an opportunity that any Ravens fan will love. AAA and Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines are offering a cruise in July 2010 that will feature some of the Ravens' players. Included are Le'Ron McClain, Jared Gaither, and former Ravens Jonathan Ogden and Michael McCrary.

Several other Ravens were invited, but won't be able to attend. They include:

Mark Clayton - he let the opportunity slip through his fingers
Ed Reed - right before he was supposed to get on board he lateraled his boarding pass and lost possession of it.
Joe Flacco - he agreed to attend, but they docked the cruise ship in the end-zone and he had no idea where that was.
Steve Hauschka - was enthusiastic, but boarded the ship that was three feet to the left of the Ravens ship
Dominique Foxworth - also wanted to go, but refused to get within 10 feet of the boat and it left without him.
Anita Marks (radio and tv show host) - refused to board the ship unless the Ravens signed Brandon Marshall
Terrell Suggs - invited, but he was later rejected for having too much baggage.
Mike Preston (Baltimore Sun sports writer) - after severely criticizing the color and length of the cruise ship, the number of guests on board, and the intended course of the ship, he found a bag of donuts and stayed home.
ESPN - refused to believe the Ravens would actually make it to the cruise ship
Kyle Boller - he sucked so they refused to extend his contract and he was picked up by St. Louis as a back-up quarterback. Oh, wait, that really did happen.
NFL Referees - they refused to go because they hate the Ravens and threw pass-interference flags anytime a player got within 3 feet of the boat.

Thanks to my circle of friends for their input into this list. I did not come up with all of these on my own.

Happy Trails, Holly Trolly

In what appears to be punishment for her embarrassing guilty verdict for stealing from poor children, the Baltimore Housing Department, <-insert sarcasm-> which has absolutely no influence from the mayor <-end sarcasm-> decided to end the program. Officially, however, the decision to cancel the program was not at all influenced by the criminal-minded embezzling mayor.

In an official statement, Andrew B. Frank, the First Deputy Mayor, not to be confused with the Second or Third Deputy Mayor, stated that the program no longer fits the goals of the city's Community Action Centers. Unofficially those goals of the centers include providing a conduit for the mayor to embezzle money, so when that conduit is cut off, the program no longer serves its purpose.

Now City Hall has to deal with the back-lash and public relations disaster that is Sheila Dixon. Do not be surprised if a "new" program is unveiled next year that will "more effectively meet the needs of the city and its residents as they continue moving forward to do the business of the city".

The new program will include lots of shovels and boots.

Someone tell me again why Keiffer Mitchell wasn't elected? Oh, yes, his campaign's self-implosion. Hey Baltimore - are you happy now?

Baltimore Christmas Parade

If you are not busy on Sunday, December 6th, come down to Baltimore for the Mayor's Annual Christmas Parade.

Mayor Sheila Dixon, who was recently found guilty of embezzlement, will lead the parade through the Baltimore neighborhoods of Hampden and Medfield. Also included in the parade will be the Baltimore Marching Ravens, Harley Davidson motorcycles, the Boumi Temple performers, floats, and high school marching bands.

Rumor is that Sheila Dixon will be collecting gift cards for poor children.

Make sure you let Mayor Dixon what you think of her!!!

Eldersburg's Only Theater Closes

In an effort to keep Eldersburg as ghetto as possible, Carrolltown Mall owner Black Oak Associates has decided to close the theater.

The closing is officially due to concerns about health and safety in the building. In an article in the Carroll County Times, patrons complained about water leaking from the ceiling while rows within the theater were roped off or blocked with cones.

I was hoping that Black Oak would let the roof collapse and we could have an outdoor theater. How many open roof theaters are there in the area? I think none!

Additionally, just like the other crumbling buildings in the Carrolltown Center, Black Oak Associates President Dixon Harvey said he has no immediate plans to repair the derelict building and it will remain closed. I love it when my friends come to visit me and they comment about having a ghetto mall in such a nice area of Carroll County. Dixon - can I give them your number every time I get that comment?

No word on the rat problem at the theater either. Perhaps if no one talks about it then it doesn't exist.

UPDATE
Two of the dead trees that face the Eldersburg Library were taken down. Fortunately they didn't remove the stumps and most of the limbs and sticks are still strewn across the parking lot. I would hate to think that Black Oak would spend money and actually hire professionals to do the job. They came through for us and I think they hired the weasels from Who Framed Roger Rabbit to do the tree work.

Sheila Dixon Hates Poor Children

What do you call a woman who steals from poor children and buys herself electronics equipment at Best Buy? You would call her Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon!

After what seemed like months of deliberation, the jury of peers found Sheila Dixon guilty of a misdemeanor charge of embezzling about $500 worth of gift cards intended for distribution to poor children. However, she was not found guilty of the more serious charges.

However, she was convicted of a more serious crime that should seal her future if it weren't for the fact that she is the Mayor of Baltimore. She's the mayor and she gets to reap the spoils of her office, right? She has lost faith in many middle class educated families who live in the city and supported her.

One must ask - if she was willing to steal gift cards for poor and needy children, then what else has she done or what else would she do if given the opportunity? Will she rob convenience stores? Or better yet the local orphanages? Is she capable of kicking puppies? You must seriously ask yourself these questions now. Can we trust her?

I mean, owning an Xbox and a camcorder is more important than providing for those poor bastard children roaming the streets of our city, right? The parents of those children would hock the items for cash and buy drugs anyway, right? So it makes sense for her to use those for herself. In the words of Maria Antoinette, to all those elementary school drop-outs - let them eat cake! And I don't care if Antoinette never really uttered those words.

Yesterday morning Martin O'Malley was seen in the city unloading mirrors and smoke from a small van on a side street and later stated at a press conference that it was a sad day for the people of Baltimore, but we must focus on the tasks at hand and move the city forward. And for the record, if you've ever been to Marty O'Malley's Facebook page, his favorite hobby is moving Maryland forward, which is such a totally innocuous statement that means nothing, but the blind mice that he is leading in our state love the rhetoric. I did not see, however, any television reports in his Friends List. And he does not play Mafia Wars, which is a huge disappointment. I should send him a friend request then send him multiple requests to join my mafia and entice him with free loot. Together we can complete the Cuba level!

The sad part of this whole episode is that Mayor Dixon may not lose her job. She could get PBJ, and I don't mean a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, though I'm sure she's capable of stealing one of those from Cafe' Hon. She could get probation before judgement and not be formally convicted, thus allowing her keep her elected position. However, if things go her way, which I suspect they will, she will get to stay.

As The Sun has pointed out, the Maryland Constitution calls for the removal of an elected official for a misdemeanor if:

• The person is convicted
• The crime is related to public duties and responsibilities
• The crime involves "moral turpitude" (violation of standards of behaviour)

I think Sheila Dixon successfully covered those. But, alas, she is the mayor of a city of shame and destruction who thinks she is awesome.

Don't get too excited, Stephanie Rawlings Blake. I see the glimmer in your eye. If Dixon stays in office, you'll have to wait a bit longer to become mayor yourself and start your path of destruction.

Wine By Mail

An article in The Sun by Laura Smitherman indicates that the Maryland General Assembly will consider changing the law to allow Marylanders to order wine and beer from other states and have it shipped here.

Currently, the law strictly prohibits this practice. You cannot go to Barboursville Wine's website and order this great bottle of Merlot. If you have ever been to Wine.Woot.com, you cannot order any of the great deals that they have if you live in Maryland. Their website states:

Thanks to stick-in-the-mud buzzkilling state legislators, wine may only be delivered to the following states:

- and Maryland is NOT on that list.

Morality-legislating elected officials have claimed that the law protects minors from obtaining alcohol by mail. Anyone who didn't grow up under a rock knows that children do not order $45 bottles of wine from Napa Valley. They have older friends or siblings who buy it for them. Tell me that's not what you did.

I'm not sure if this will impact any of our elected officials' alcohol desires, like Montgomery County Delegate Kumar Barve who was arrested for DUI, but whose charges were mysteriously dropped, or Baltimore County Council member Sam Moxley, who was not arrested once, but twice, for driving under the influence. Perhaps the law can be written so that only non-elected officials can order alcohol from outside of Maryland.

Regardless of our elected officials' reckless disregard for the laws they pass, let's hope they get this one right and allow adults in Maryland to order fine beverages and have them shipped to our state.

Contact your State Delegate or State Senator and tell them to vote for this! Don't know you your elected officials are? Go here.

100.7 The Bay Returns

If you haven't noticed, Baltimore's only classic rock station, 100.7 The Bay, finally got rid of those 2 old jokers, Bob and Tom, and they play classic rock in the morning again. Thank, God! I had begrudgingly switched to 102.7 Jack FM in the interums since they actually play music. Unfortuatnely they play a lot of crap from the 80's.

Thank you 100.7 for coming back!

The Valiant Jim Smith

In a ongoing display of showmanship, Baltimore County Executive Jim Smith valiantly announced that he was not going to accept the recommendation of an 8% raise for his elected position. On Tuesday November 24th, the Personnel Salary and Advisory Board recommended an 8% raise for his position and a 2% raise for the county council members.

Jim Smith must think that we are all idiots. It certainly looks suspicious to me that when the County Executive is gearing up for a run in the State Senate and he gets to show off "doing the right thing" and rejecting a huge pay increase. Did he have a hand in getting them to make the recommendation in the first place with full intent of rejecting it?

I once got my kid to recommend to me in front of my wife that we buy a really huge television, to which I promptly replied that it would be irresponsible in these tough economic times and we should do without for now. Of course, I looked like the responsible husband in front of my wife, but in reality I was just doing it to look cool and to get bonus points later down the road.

Mr. Smith, does this sound familiar?

The Apparition of Andy Harris

Andy Harris is a feisty guy. He stands by his principals and refuses to back down. I don't have a problem with Andy Harris or his beliefs. He'd be an easy win in Western Maryland.

You'll recall that Andy Harris single-handedly gave the Democratic Party the Maryland 1st District, which is Harford County, parts of Baltimore County, and the Eastern Shore. This is not Western Maryland. The Maryland 1st district in a moderate Congressional district. Harris is no moderate. However, he defeated moderate Republican Wayne Gilchrest in the Republican primary election. Harris was then was defeated by Democrat Wayne Kratovil in the general election. Maryland had 2 Republicans in Congress. Now we have one.

Fortunately for Harris, the Congressional elections are every 2 years and it was mid-term for him and his state senate seat. He could comfortably run for the Congressional seat without worrying about losing the State Senate seat if he lost. This time it is a different story.

Andy Harris has given every indication that he will again run for election in the Maryland 1st District against Frank Kratovil. However, Frank Kratovil is no dummy. In the highly controversial Healthcare Reform bill, better known as socialized healthcare, Frank Kratovil was one of only a handful of Democrats to vote against this trillion dollar boondoggle. Who's the moderate?

Furthermore, Martin O'Malley bedfellow Jim Smith, the current Baltimore County Executive, recently put his house up for sale and announced his intentions to move to Andy Harris' district with full intentions of running for his State Senate seat. Well known to the area, Jim Smith is a sure win. And Jim Smith is an unapologetic tax and spend, toe-kissing liberal extremist. When Martin O'Malley says to jump, Jim Smith asks how high.

So because Andy Harris is showing intentions of abandoning his seat in the State Senate, the Republicans will lose yet another vote. Furthermore, Kratovil is turning out to be more moderate than anyone expected. The Maryland 1st District, as I mentioned, likes their moderates. And Andy Harris is no moderate.

John Sarbanes Hates the Middle Class in District 3

That sure is the impression that I got after learning that he voted for healthcare reform bill. He's pretending that this bill is good for all Americans. He's pretending that if you want to keep your private insurance company, you can. He's pretending that this bill will not cost tax-payers one dime. He's wrong. And I hope voters punish him for this catastrophic vote he has made.

What Congress fails to tell you is that they will put in place the mechanisms that will eventually force everyone into their socialized healthcare system. As I understand it, if your employer makes any changes to their current health insurance offering, they will be forced to add the government option.

Additionally, what makes health insurance work is creating a large pool of workers and spreading out the risk over the entire pool. Some people pay money into their healthcare plan and will not use any of it. Others contribute money and use a lot of it, either because of catastrophic illnesses or childbirths, or injuries, or other various reasons. However, because of the large pool, the insurance company is able to pay the claims of everyone and make a profit. It's called spreading the risk.

However, once the government starts sucking the participants out of the private plans, the private plans will not be able to compete. Once they no longer return a profit, they will go out of business. Once they go out of business, you will be pushed into the socialized healthcare plan. See how it works? Thank you, John Sarbanes.

Yes, John Sarbanes and his hard-left liberal warriors are technically correct when they say we can keep our private health insurance plans. That is - in the short-term. However, what they are not telling you is that in the long-term, you WILL NOT have private health insurance because they are creating the architecture to rid our society of private health insurance.

Additionally, current estimates are that the socialized healthcare plan that the House just passed will cost $1.7 trillion dollars over 10 years, slightly more than Pelosi's grossly understated $800 billion. And if it costs $1.7 trillion, who is going to pay for it? Pelosi says that no taxes will have to be raised to pay for it. Then who is going to pay for it?

One thing that we ought to remember is that Congress lies. Our elected officials are very disingenuous. They have to be. If they told you the truth up front, you would not reelect them. So when Congressman John Sarbanes tells who how great this free healthcare plan is, scratch your head, get on the phone and call him and ask, "How are you going to pay for it?" Because I guarantee he has no freaking clue.

I know who's going to pay for it - the middle class voters of District 3. Don't say I didn't warn you.

John Sarbanes - (202) 225-4016

Good-Bye, Muhammed

Do you think if John Allen Muhammed, better known as the D.C. sniper, was tried in a court in Maryland would we be celebrating his execution today? I think not.

Instead, he'd probably be getting ready to get out of jail with well-wishes from pro-abortion / anti-death penalty Maryland Governor Martin O'Malley and the other liberal pro-abortion politicians who are against capital punishment.

They hate the babies, but they love their murderers.

Maryland - what a great state!

Obama Healthcare Plan Humor

From an email that I received:

Let me get this straight. Congress is going to pass a health care plan written by a committee whose head says he doesn't understand it, passed by a Congress that hasn't read it, but exempts themselves from it, signed by a President who also hasn't read it, and who smokes, with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that's nearly broke.

What could possibly go wrong?

Who's Robbing Eldersburg?

Last Sunday my son and I noticed a helicopter hovering near Liberty Road in Eldersburg, sweeping back and forth in the sky. We assumed that he was trying to find a place to land near an accident. We were totally wrong.

Bucolic Eldersburg has been the victim of Baltimore City-like robberies. About 2 weeks ago someone robbed the Dunkin Donuts at knife-point. The perpetrator had on a baggy sweatshirt and a baseball cap turned backwards and turned to the side somewhat. That certainly sounds like your average Eldersburg resident.

Then last week someone robbed the Subway, nearly across the street from the Dunking Donuts, and also with a knife.

Early this week someone again robbed the Dunkin Donuts.

What the hell is going on? I know times are tough for people, especially if you're unemployed. But if you go around robbing stores someone is eventually going to blow your head off. I mean, this is Carroll County. Unlike Baltimore City, law-abiding citizens in Carroll County are also packing heat. And unlike Baltimore City, I think justice will be swift and permanent. In Bmore, Pat Jessamy prefers to let the criminals roam the streets. I'm just saying....

2009 Election Results

I am totally confused about this election. How about you?

Here are the results:

Virginia - Republican Robert McDonnell crushed his Democratic challenger with McDonnell receiving 59% of the vote compared to Creigh Deeds 41%. Additionally, Republicans won big in Virginia's House of Delegates, gaining 6 seats.

New Jersey - a closer race, but John Corzine, best known for his high-speed accident where he wasn't wearing a seat belt, lost his reelection bid to Republican challenger Chris Christie, 49% to 45%. New Jersey is a normally liberal Democrat state and Christie is the first Republican to win the election to live in the big house in Trenton since Christine Todd Whitman, who left in 2001.

New York - 23rd Congressional District - Democrat Bill Owens defeated come-lately Conservative candidate Doug Hoffman. The race was significant because moderately liberal Republican candidate Dede Scozzafava dropped out of the race with low polling numbers, though there is a rumor that members of Tammany Hall met her in an alley with lead pipes in their hands and a deal she couldn't refuse.

Also in New York, sort-of-Republican, sort-of-Independent Michael Bloomberg bought another election, this time by eliminating the restriction on being able to run for a third-term.

Elsewhere - Houston, Boston, & Atlanta all look to elect Democrats, but that's no surprise.

Maine - Maine rejected same-sex marriages, but voted yes for smoking pot. Here's to heterosexuals smoking dope!!!

So how does this all vet out in the press? From what I'm reading it appears most of the liberal press are saying that the results are an endorsement of President Obama's radical socialists policies and a mandate for more. I don't get it.

On the other hand, Republicans are claiming a victory in New York's 23rd because they chased out the liberal Republican. How is losing a seat to the Democrats a victory? I don't get it.

This off-cycle election probably shouldn't have too much impact on the state of the country, whether it be the economy or politics. I think that Virginia and New Jersey, despite MSNBC and CNN's declaration of an Obama endorsement, voters and tax-payers are saying that if they can't stop the liberal agenda, they were going to set in place some balance to the so-called mandate.

I think the bigger election will be in 2010 and if things continue at their present pace, the Democrats will get their ass kicked. I don't think either party deserves an overwhelming majority in any elected office. Too much power turns both parties into a bunch of asses. We'll see how it turns out. But someone please help me explain the press' proclamations!

Williamsburg Vacation

Before I forget that I went on vacation to Williamsburg in October, I thought I ought to write a bit about it.

A happy face on an ice cream cone from Sonic.

Normally we join the family in Ocean City during the Maryland State Teachers' convention as the kids already have off from school on Friday, so we pull them out of class on Thursday, too, and make a 4-day weekend out of it.

This year we decided to do something different. We already knew that several family members were not going to the beach. We decided to go to Williamsburg instead. I liked this idea, because in addition to Williamsburg, there is also Jamestown and Yorktown, all within about 30 minutes of each other. And everyone knows that the Revolutionary War ended at Yorktown, right? Right???

My wife's cousin Kizzy heard of our plans and asked if she could go with us. Why not! We left early on Thursday morning. We knew that the D.C. beltway would be absolutely nuts (in fact, it is always nuts!), so we headed to U.S. Route 301 to go around D.C. and pick up I-95 south of D.C. and just north of Richmond.

Unfortunately for us, the weather was slightly rainy and this had an immediate impact on the traffic. It took us over an hour to get to I-97, normally a 30 minute drive. Along the way, my daughter commented that she saw a sign that said, "Keep Maryland safe and beautiful", but it had mud splashed all over it along with some bullet holes. Funny girl! She later was talking about school and said that her teacher was talking about the environment and how we need to conserve and save our resources, but then said that the teacher told the class to write a 10 page paper about saving the trees. I love her sense of humor!

We finally made it to Williamsburg about 5 hours later. So much for driving in the rain and going around D.C. to save time.

I have been to Williamsburg before, so there wasn't really much that was new to me other than I was more informed about the history since I read a lot of books about the American Revolution. Lord Dunmore fled the capital in the middle of the night and raided the munitions from the armory, remember?

Here some of the interesting things that I found in Williamsburg.

Here is Thy King's Royale Recycling Bin

And here is the King's Royale Energy Efficient Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs. They made the switch because in 18t century Williamsburg in 2009, gas lamps hadn't been invented yet and it's totally unethical to burn whale oil.

Fortunately, Williamsburg offered daycare services. We found this to be a really nice service for families.

Down in Jamestown, we all know that the first English settlement was made. Here is the King's Royale Rascal. You didn't think the King or his Royale Governor would be required to walk in all that mud, did you?

Here is one of my favorites. This is the picture of the frontierswoman getting ready to fire her musket.

Here is the picture that I took 1/100 of a second later as she fired the musket and it scared the crap out of me and made me jump three feet straight up because it was so damn loud, hence the blurriness.

NAACP's Doc Cheatham is a Racist

Typical of the NAACP, they cry RACISM at the drop of the hat, but in practice they are just as racist as the people and organizations that they criticize.

Doc Cheatham, President of the Baltimore Chapter of the NAACP, is no exception. In fact, Doc Cheatham could be the poster-child of RACISM. After hearing a radio program say that the rules of succession for Baltimore City Mayor are unclear, and with reasonably heightened fears that Sheila Dixon can be convicted of multiple charges, Doc Cheatham wants changes made. He wants to make sure that the Governor does not have the power to appoint someone to the Mayoral post.

Cheatham is not only a racist, but he is ignorant. He doesn't understand the laws of Baltimore and Maryland and didn't even bother to investigate what the rules of succession are for the mayor. But displaying typical behavior, he reacts with unbridled hysteria. Sort of like the old saying, "Shoot first, ask questions later."

I can't make this stuff up any better, so I'll just quote Doc "Racist" Cheatham. "Our concern is who would the governor appoint?" Cheatham said. "Here you have a predominantly African-American city. What if the governor appointed somebody white? ... Would he appoint someone Irish to be the mayor?" Cheatham also wants to close the possibility that a Republican Governor may appoint a Republican to Mayor of Baltimore in the future.

What if the mayor appointed someone who is white? Is that a catastrophe? Wasn't Martin O'Malley white? Wasn't Donald Shaefer white? And Irish? Seriously? You hate Irish people?

Using Doc "Racist" Cheatham's logic, I will make a suggestion to my elected officials in Carroll County to make sure the Governor doesn't appoint anyone to an elected office who is black and or a Democrat since Carroll County is mostly white and Republican.

Of course my suggestion is absurd and bigoted. The difference is I am kidding. Doc Cheatham' is serious and his suggestion is a reflection of racism and his own personal bigotry.

More ¡Hablo Español! in Carroll County

I got another Spanish email from Carroll County's Board of Education.

Dear Dr. Charles Ecker, as Superintendent of Carroll County Public Schools, why are you sending me emails written in Spanish? This isn't Anne Arundel County. What's the deal?

Here's the email:

H1N1 Nasal Vacuna contra la gripe formas están siendo enviados a casa con su niño(s) hoy. Si quiere que su hijo para recibir el aerosol nasal H1N1 vacuna contra la gripe de libre en la escuela, usted debe llenar y firmar estas dos formas y regresarlos a su hijo maestro no más tarde de Octubre 23 por 2:00 PM.
Los formularios se envían a casa:
- Escuela Formulario de consentimiento para 2009 H1N1 Gripe Vacuna Intranasal
- FERPA (Escuela forma autoriza el examen de esta vacuna formulario de consentimiento por padres voluntarios y enfermeras voluntarias)
Por Favor recuerde que formularios recibidos tras 2:00 PM en Octubre 23 no puede aceptarse.

¡Hablo Español!

Apparently Carroll County is attempting to be more diversified. They are now sending random emails in Spanish. I received this one the other day:

Almuerzo escolar y desayuno menús pueden encontrarse en la Carrolltowne Elemental Sitio.
http://www.carrollk12.org/ces/menu/default.asp
Copiar y pegar el enlace de arriba en su barra de direcciones para ver menús.

Obviously it is the email notifying parents of the lunch menu for the week. But since I don't speak Spanish (I speak American), I have no idea what it says.

Was this a bad joke coming from Westminster?

Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize - What's Next?

Obama, who had been in office for almost 12 days when the nominations were made for the Nobel Peace Prize, received the news that he has won the coveted prize this year. He received the award for his efforts in hope and promise. Hope and change.

This year's award opens the door for absolute mockery of the Nobel Foundation. And the United States Postmaster General John E. Potter confirmed that the Nobel Foundation mailed in their Integrity Card.

Obviously the foundation has lowered its standards for dolling out the award. I predict that next year's nominations will consist of Kim Jong-Il, Robert Mugabe, and Omar Al-Bashir.

The world's love affair with Obama has not receded despite Saturday Night Live's factual mockery of him last week. In addition to winning the Nobel Peace Prize, the NHL has announced that Obama is this year's recipient of the Lady Byng Trophy despite being only 2 weeks into the season.

Not to be outdone other organizations are jumping on the bandwagon. Obama will be inducted into the Rock-N-Roll Hall of Fame next month, he is now the leader of the Superfriend's Hall of Justice, he will be on the front of the Wheaties cereal box, was nominated for a Daytime Emmy, and rumors are swirling that he will replace Elizabeth Hasselbeck on The View. Furthermore, Obama is the leading candidate for this year's Heisman Trophy. When will this madness end?

As my Guinness-swirling liberal friend who masquerades as a Republican said, "You can't stop Obama - you can only hope to contain him!"

David Letterman - Open Wide

What the heck is up with David Letterman lately?

As I posted in Facebook today - David Letterman can't seem to keep his foot out of his mouth or his dick in his pants.

If you aren't already aware, the formerly funny Late Show host made a comment about Alex Rodriguez having sex with Sarah Palin's daughter when they attended a recent Yankees game. Letterman had been (and continues to) show his liberal colors by bashing everyone in the Republican Party. In the Palin incident, he wasn't aware that it was the 14 year old daughter of Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin attending the Yankees game with her mother, but nonetheless, he made a Jackass comment regardless of which daughter he thought he was bashing. Don't go after a politician's children. Do you think anyone could get away with the same pedophilic comments about Sasha and Malia Obama? I think not.

Then this week the married Letterman admits on his show that he's been having sex with employees of the show - presumably women. The admission came on the heals of an extortion attempt by one of the producers from the TV investigative show 48 Hours. The alleged extortionist, Robert J. Halderman, had demanded $2 million for his silence.

Letterman is a friend of unimaginable situations. He was stalked by a woman who eventually killed herself, and at age 83, Letterman and his girlfriend had a baby. If I am not mistaken, Letterman is the oldest late night talk show host to have a child born to an unwed mother.

And to think - I used to believe that he was funny.

Baltimore from the Outside

I had the privilege of dining with a friend from out of town on Friday night. She was up from South Carolina to attend a convention catering to guidance counselors and recruiters. It's always fun catching up with college friends.

I do not go into Baltimore much anymore. I enjoy the peaceful, nearly crime-free bucolic Carroll County versus the crime infested, traffic-snarled streets of Maryland's largest city. And upon every visit I am reminded of why I never returned to live in the city of my birth. The city that resulted in one of my neighbors being murdered, my bicycle and dirt bike being stolen. The city where someone broke into our house in the night while we slept.

I made plans with my friend to meet her at 7pm in front of the ugly Hilton Convention Center Hotel that Peter Angelos built that blocks most of the scenic view of the city from the seats of Camden Yards. I got off on Russell Street at 6:35 - plenty of time to meet her at 7pm. Or so I thought.

About half way up Russell Street we can to an abrupt halt. And I sat. And I sat. Every few minutes we were granted the pleasure of moving up a couple of car lengths. Before long it was 6:55. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it. I called her and told her to come meet me on Russell Street. I was a couple of car lengths behind the great big green container truck.

Once she got in the car we crept to the next light. We sat through several, being blocked each time by cross-traffic that went through the red light and sat there obstructing the intersection. Finally we turned onto Pratt Street for another 15 minute trek to Light Street. At each light we saw AT LEAST 4 cars fly through red lights, which reminds me of a joke:

I was riding with my friend from Baltimore and we came upon a red light and we drove right through it. I yelled, "We just ran through a red light!" "Sure", said my friend. "My brother who lives in Federal Hill does it all the time. We then got to another light near Little Italy and as it turned red we drove right through it. I yelled that we drove through another red light. Again my friend said that his brother from Federal Hill does it all the time. Finally, we came upon a green light and my friend stopped. I turned and asked him, "What are you doing? It's green?" "Well, my brother might be coming the other way."

As we drove to our destination (Hull Street Blues Cafe), we talked. I asked her about the convention and she said that the mood of this convention just wasn't the same as the one last year in Seattle. Seattle, she explained, was fun. Everyone was excited. Here in Baltimore, everyone was kind of down and out, not wanting to go out and do anything. Unfortunately, Charm City brought the conventioneers down.

Additionally, my friend mentioned that she heard that our mayor was under investigation. How fantastic. Isn't it wonderful that the visitors to our city get to hear about how our mayor (Sheila Dixon) is basically a crook?

I had a great time seeing my friend and having dinner with her. But I sure am not boasting about Baltimore. What a mess.

Richard Pryor Live at the U.N.

While at the gym I was watching the news and being that it's usually too loud to hear it I end up just watching the pictures and reading any captions at the bottom. To my surprise, Richard Pryor was doing stand-up at the United Nations on Wednesday. I thought Mr. Pryor died years ago.

Upon further review, the comedian was not Richard Pryor, but the comical leader of Libya, Muammar Gaddafi, the King of Comical Kings of the Arabic world.

Gaddafi didn't fail. He had his audience in the half-empty chamber rolling on the floor with such lines as the swine flu virus was created by the American military, the U.N. Security Council should be called the Terror Council, Obama should refuse to step down as President of the United States and become its indefinite leader, and he blamed the Jews for the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. and John K. Kennedy.

His mindless rambling exceeded his allotted 15 minutes by an hour and 15 minutes. At one point the English interpreter had to be relieved as he collapsed from exhaustion.

Many critics were disappointed that in his finger-pointing, hate-filled diatribe didn't answer such simple questions 'how many licks does it take to get the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?', 'Where does the pollen go?", and "Where's the beef?" I'm hoping he will follow up his most recent speech at the U.N. as a special guest of radical leftist David Letterman on the Late Show. Perhaps Letterman will allow Gadaffi to deliver the Top 10 Reasons Why Letterman and Gadaffi are Radical Lunatics.

Later that evening Gadaffi was seen raising the roof at Poly Esther's on Manhattan's West Side, delivering an impromptu karaoke version of Macho Man by the Village People. Gadaffi - Libya's greatest comedian.

Patricia Jessamy Condones Underage Prostitution

That certainly may not be the case, but she sure gives the impression that she doesn't care about the subject.

A couple of weeks ago several incidents were made public concerning the not-for-profit pro-communist social organization ACORN that brought to light their unscrupulous practices. While performing an investigation, a couple posed as a pimp and a hooker and were asking for advice on preparing taxes concerning their operation. They also wanted to know how to import underage illegal immigrant girls that would be used as prostitutes. Not only did the members of ACORN not question their intentions, but they provided advice!!

There was a lot of uproar in Baltimore where the incident occurred. Everyone was sure that the incident would be investigated and the operation would be shut down. However, Baltimore City Prosecutor Patricia Jessamy stated on WBAL radio that she had no intentions of pursing an investigation of the ACORN facility. In fact, she said that they may pursue charges against the undercover agents for violating Maryland's law against videotaping people without their consent.

We all know where Patrician Jessamy sits when it comes to doing the right things versus doing the wrong thing. One can assume that Jessamy is in bed with ACORN as it appears she is trying to shield them.

Fortunately, Maryland Attorney General Doug Gansler asked and received permission from hard left-wing liberal Maryland Governor Martin O'Malley to investigate ACORN since Patricia Jessamy was sitting on her ass and refusing to do so.

ACORN is now under federal investigation for similar questionable activities across the nation. Additionally, ACORN was stripped of federal funding. However, radical liberals Barney Fwank of Massachusetts and John Conyers of Michigan have requested an investigation into the Constitutionality of Congress removing funding from communist-leaning groups like ACORN.

We can only assume that Patricia Jessamy, Barney Frank, John Conyers, and the folks at ACORN are all a bunch of nuts.

Swine Flu Prediction

Not since the 1969 when a drunk Ted Kennedy drove off of bridge that killed Mary Jo Kopechne has there been as much hoopla in our country as the H1N1 virus, better known as the swine flu. However, unlike Ted Kennedy who did not report this incident until the next morning, the H1N1 gets more reporting than anything else in this country - even more than Baltimore City Mayor Sheila Dixon's multiple ethics violations and investigations.

Many absent-minded Americans wonder when the pandemic will arrive and destroy all mankind as we know it. While there is a lot that we don't know about the swine flu, there is much that we do know.

We know that this is not the first swine flu outbreak in this county. In fact, there have been several in the recent past. There was the mass hysteria in 1976, a less hysterical one in 1988 that killed one person, and another in 1998 that injured several pigs. In 1976, F. David Matthews, the Director of Health, Education, and Welfare (now called the Department of Health and Human Services), infamously predicted that the 1976 strain would kill one million Americans. He was off by 999,999. Only one person died.

We also know that the overwhelming majority of people that are contracting the swine flu exhibit mild flu-like symptoms that require them to watch The Price is Right for a couple of days before returning to work or classes.

We also know that more people are killed by seasonal flu every day than the total number of deaths associated with this year's H1N1 strain. However, the seasonal flu is like the Baltimore Orioles - no one gives a crap.

However, as Obama's White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel so arrogantly stated on CBS' Face the Nation, "Never allow a crisis to go to waste. They are opportunities to do big things." Emanuel's communist tendencies are indicative of the Obama administration's thinking and have pushed our government to spend billions of dollars for a vaccine to help stop the spread of this virus.

So here is my prediction:

First - if the government does nothing, a few thousand people will get the virus and maybe a few dozen Americans will die - the overwhelming majority of those with existing illnesses and compromised immune systems. We will have saved billions of dollars.

Second - the government spends billions of dollars educating people about the benefits of washing their hands and getting a hurried untested flu shot to the market, a few thousand people will get the virus and a few dozen will die, and thousands of others will suffer the unintended long-term effects of an untested vaccine. However, by using this method, the government can say, "Look, our coordinated efforts helped prevent this from being a far worse pandemic that it could have been. We've made a strategic investment in the health of our working class families and that investment has paid off."

In the eyes of any politician, the second option is always better than the first.

Let There Be Light...and Air

Like Maryland Governor Martin O'Malley and Baltimore County Executive Jim Smith, my coworkers like to be in the dark.

Every morning I enter my section of the building and all of the lights are turned off. I am not the first person in my department to get to work in the morning. In fact, I'm probably about 10th. However, no one will turn on the lights. It drives me nuts.

And like my coworkers, Baltimore County Executive Jim Smith refuses to do anything and wants to stay in the dark. I refer to Ridgely Middle School in Towson. To my shocking surprise, this public school has no air conditioning. What school has no air conditioning? Martin O'Malley has been spending what seems to be hundreds of billions of dollars on education including new school construction and they cannot install air conditioning into an older school?

The Ridgely PTA invited Martin O'Malley and Jim Smith to attend a discussion on what can be done, but both self-centered liberals refused to attend. Representatives from the school claim that portions of the building easily reach over 100° and nearly all of the building is 10° warmer than outside.

WBAL cornered Jim Smith in another area of Towson trying to steal money from elderly disabled veterans and asked him about the school. He said, "I am working with the school system to address those concerns..." He wants to address those concerns? Outside of installing air conditioning what does he plan on doing?

On WBAL's coverage a student said that when the school has the students take standardized tests that are for the county's benefit, the students are moved to an air conditioned location, but when the students take tests for their own benefit, they must suffer in the sweltering heat of their class room.

I suspect that O'Malley and Smith may have refused to attend the event because the school is already hot and both politicians are full of hot air which would only make the situation worse.

This is just another example of why some of our elected officials like Smith and O'Malley need to be removed from office. Like my coworkers, they prefer to stay in dark and this is something that we the people should not tolerate.

Kanye the Jackass

For once I totally agree with socialist-leaning President Barrack Obama. He was caught supposedly off the record calling Kanye West a jackass. I couldn't agree more!

Kanye the jackass - you took the microphone from:

a) the girl that won the award

b) a 19 year old girl

c) Taylor Swift

And in an interview with Taylor Swift on The View yesterday, Miss Swift was asked if Kanye the Jackass has apologized to her for the embarrassing intrusion in her acceptance speech at the MTV Video Awards. She said he (Kanye the jackass) hasn't said a word to her. (though he (Kanye the jackass) finally called her after this revelation) I guess in Kanye the Jackass' mind pretending to apologize on Jay Leno's Show counts as a real apology. Have I mentioned that Kanye West is a jackass?

Irreconcilable Differences

In an ironic twist, Playboy founder and stud Hugh Hefner is filing for divorce from his wife Kimberly Conrad citing irreconcilable differences. What could be irreconcilable with him? I could understand if she was divorcing him. How easy is it to be married to a guy who sleeps with 15 naked 25 year old girls? Was Hefner really upset about something? I mean, if my wife let me sleep with 15 naked 25 year old girls I'd never leave her.

Socialized Healthcare - What if....

I'm not pretending to understand the new healthcare bill. I haven't read it. But I'll bet Martin O'Malley's job that your Congressmen or Senators haven't read it either.

One of the points that I've heard and read is that if you are an employer with at least 50 employees you will be forced to offer health insurance. And as an individual you will be forced to have health insurance one way or the other.

So think about this. What if:

1) I am a sole-proprietor? I must purchase my own health insurance. Very expensive.

2) I have 50 employees? I must offer them health insurance. Very expensive.

3) I own a part-time business run on the weekends with 50 employees who all work part-time (less than 20 hours over the weekend)? Must I offer them health insurance?

4) I own a part-time business with 50 friends who are gainfully employed and who already have health insurance through their full-time job? Do I still need to offer them health insurance?

5) I employ 50 volunteers? Do I need to offer them health insurance?

Healthcare Madness

Big Daddy Obama gave his much-anticipated fatherly socialized healthcare reform speech last night. Did you watch it? I watched some of it. And I certainly felt like he was hollering at me for not being a good listener. Seriously, did I leave the refrigerator open again? Or did Michelle find out that I found his cabinet of girly magazines in the basement and now he's taking it out on me?

Some highlights of what he said:

1) Socialized healthcare will be self-sufficient. Do you mean self-sufficient like the Post Office, Amtrak, Medicare and Medicaid? Or self-sufficient like the tax payers will pump billions of dollars into this new government program in order to sustain it?

Directly from the liberal talking points:

Won't add a dime to the deficit and it is paid for upfront. This is because it will reform the healthcare system and curb healthcare cost growth. (This tells me absolutely nothing) invests in quality improvements (sounds like increased spending), consumer protections (more increased spending because of the required government oversight), prevention, and premium assistance (more spending). The plan fully pays for (itself )...with a new revenue including a fee on insurance companies that sell very expensive plans (this sounds like a tax. Let's penalize good insurance plans???)

Requires additional cuts if savings are not realized (because we know the savings will not be realized. Come on - the government is running it! This is the same organization that pays $600 to procure a hammer) Under the plan, if the savings promised at the same time of enactment don't materialize, the President will be required to put forth additional savings to ensure that the plan does not add to the deficit (let's see - need to cut costs - like......denying coverage? Not paying doctors and hospitals? How else do you cut costs in a healthcare plan? Can't raise premiums - they're already government subsidized.)

This is a disaster waiting to happen! If you're a smart person coming out of high school or in college, would you want to go to medical school? You will not live comfortably like in the days of yore. Currently Medicare and Medicaid do NOT pay the full costs of procedures and care provided. The government system pays only a portion of the costs. The shortfall in payment is made up somewhere. Where would that be? Oh, yeah. Everyone else has to pay higher costs for their medical treatment. So currently everyone who is not relying on the government for their healthcare pays artificially higher medical costs, most of which is covered by our own private health insurance companies.

And now the government wants to run an even bigger portion of the healthcare system and reform the system and remove waste? I think I found the waste - the government bureaucracies that interfere with the current system. How is the government plan going to help doctors and hospitals? What about all of the other people that are employed in the industry? This can only hurt them - less money received for treatments means less money to be spent on buying new equipment, hiring more nurses, building new facilities, etc....

2) Socialized healthcare will be better because it will allow for more competition (conservative buzzword) and we all know that competition lowers prices. We need more competition? Because Kaiser Permanente, MetLife Medical, UnitedHealth, Blue Cross, Aetna, Cigna, Fortis, Assurant, Golden Rule, Health Net, Humana, Premera, Principal, Regence, Shelter, Thrivant, Unitrin, and Wellpoint do not provide enough competition???

This reminds me of the old joke - how do you know when a politician is lying? His lips are moving.

3) Whether or not you like the President's speech (this President or any other) - be polite and do not heckle him, (read South Carolina Congressman Wilson). You're just making an ass of yourself and your party. And did you see Obama's face when Wilson called him a liar? Obama was PISSED! I could almost read what he was thinking: "My white mother who raised me by herself would be really mad if I ran out there and gave Congressman Wilson a beat-down right now."

4) Socialized healthcare will not impact your current healthcare insurance. I don't believe it. My current health insurance (which I think is very good) has to be efficient and provide a profit to it's shareholders. I'm okay with that. However, if they started treating their members like crap, they can leave the plan. It's in the private health insurance companies' best interests to provide good high quality care to their members.

With the "public option", there is no profit motive. It can be as inefficient as it wants to be. See Amtrak and the Post Office. And if people opt for the government-subsidized healthcare plan, the private health insurance companies will lose their economies of scale and will not be able to compete and will eventually go out of business. THEN you will be forced into the government's socialized healthcare plan.

Additionally, one of the provisions of the socialized healthcare plan is that if your employer makes any changes to it's current healthcare options, it will be FORCED to also offer the socialized plan. How does that NOT affect my private insurance company? This requirement DIRECTLY affects my private health insurance company.

This reminds me of the old joke - how do you know when.....