Sheila Dixon Hates Poor Children

What do you call a woman who steals from poor children and buys herself electronics equipment at Best Buy? You would call her Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon!

After what seemed like months of deliberation, the jury of peers found Sheila Dixon guilty of a misdemeanor charge of embezzling about $500 worth of gift cards intended for distribution to poor children. However, she was not found guilty of the more serious charges.

However, she was convicted of a more serious crime that should seal her future if it weren't for the fact that she is the Mayor of Baltimore. She's the mayor and she gets to reap the spoils of her office, right? She has lost faith in many middle class educated families who live in the city and supported her.

One must ask - if she was willing to steal gift cards for poor and needy children, then what else has she done or what else would she do if given the opportunity? Will she rob convenience stores? Or better yet the local orphanages? Is she capable of kicking puppies? You must seriously ask yourself these questions now. Can we trust her?

I mean, owning an Xbox and a camcorder is more important than providing for those poor bastard children roaming the streets of our city, right? The parents of those children would hock the items for cash and buy drugs anyway, right? So it makes sense for her to use those for herself. In the words of Maria Antoinette, to all those elementary school drop-outs - let them eat cake! And I don't care if Antoinette never really uttered those words.

Yesterday morning Martin O'Malley was seen in the city unloading mirrors and smoke from a small van on a side street and later stated at a press conference that it was a sad day for the people of Baltimore, but we must focus on the tasks at hand and move the city forward. And for the record, if you've ever been to Marty O'Malley's Facebook page, his favorite hobby is moving Maryland forward, which is such a totally innocuous statement that means nothing, but the blind mice that he is leading in our state love the rhetoric. I did not see, however, any television reports in his Friends List. And he does not play Mafia Wars, which is a huge disappointment. I should send him a friend request then send him multiple requests to join my mafia and entice him with free loot. Together we can complete the Cuba level!

The sad part of this whole episode is that Mayor Dixon may not lose her job. She could get PBJ, and I don't mean a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, though I'm sure she's capable of stealing one of those from Cafe' Hon. She could get probation before judgement and not be formally convicted, thus allowing her keep her elected position. However, if things go her way, which I suspect they will, she will get to stay.

As The Sun has pointed out, the Maryland Constitution calls for the removal of an elected official for a misdemeanor if:

• The person is convicted
• The crime is related to public duties and responsibilities
• The crime involves "moral turpitude" (violation of standards of behaviour)

I think Sheila Dixon successfully covered those. But, alas, she is the mayor of a city of shame and destruction who thinks she is awesome.

Don't get too excited, Stephanie Rawlings Blake. I see the glimmer in your eye. If Dixon stays in office, you'll have to wait a bit longer to become mayor yourself and start your path of destruction.