Mt. Airy - Closed on Monday

I decided to use the remainder of my vacation this week and not carry-over the maximum of 5 days into next year. Instead I decided that I would use the time to chase naked women at the adult dance clubs and drink heavily. But then at the last minute I changed my mind and thought it might be a little better for the image if I spend some time with my kids.

I asked my son what he wanted to do and he said go fishing. Since it was 28° and the pond is frozen, I nixed that idea. He then said that whatever we did it couldn't be going to visit another President's house because those are stupid.

My daughter said that she wanted to go to Famous Dave's restaurant and go bowling. I asked my son if he wanted to go with us. He said yes at first. Then he asked if he didn't go to lunch would we come home and get him to go bowling. I said that we would come home go get him and he quickly declined the Famous Dave's part. You need to understand that my son hates meat. He won't declare himself a vegetarian (I don't even think by law he can legally call himself a vegetarian at age 7). He does like chicken nuggets and will occasionally eat fish. He's more of a convenientarian.

My daughter and I left for Famous Dave's. I was salivating the whole way there thinking about eating those marinated pig parts. As we read the menu my daughter asked, "You know what's better than ribs?" "Nothing!" I proudly declared. "Wrong!" she quickly retorted. "More ribs!" Well, okay then!

After we ordered, we were looking around and I commented that our waitress is very pretty, but she'd be even prettier if she smiled now and then. My daughter then said, "I wouldn't smile if I worked here either. You'd be tortured by having to serve all that food and you can't have any." Oh, that apple didn't fall far.

Once we finished our meal we headed back home to pick up my son. Then it was off to Mt. Airy to go bowling. If you are not familiar with Mt. Airy, it's one of those old towns with a Main Street and an interesting historical downtown section that is accompanied by a bypass lined with townhouses and developments. Most people drive on by and don't see what is really interesting.

Mt. Airy Bowling sits on this side street that one would mistake for an alley. Much like the ones where politicians like Martin O'Malley convince their opponents to drop out of races for vague and unsubstantiated reasons.

Driving to the end of this alley-like road I felt a bump and suddenly like we were flying in the Millennium Falcon and the stars blurred and stretched out before us. And in an instant we were in a small town in the late 1950's - and there was the bowling alley.

Anchored by a rusty Coke sign sat the bowling alley. Clad with painted cinder-block walls, this was a vestige to Opie Taylor, Ward Cleaver, and Dennis Mitchell. Inside, it was not quite the 1950's that I would have expected from the outside. Instead, it's late 80's decor. Gone is the Pac-Man machine, but there are the upright video game consoles, smelly bowling shoes, and grumpy employees who hate all things bowling.

We finished our game of duckpin bowling. My son didn't like it too much. If he doesn't crush his opponents then the game is stupid. When we turned in our shoes and paid (they did not accept credit cards), I asked if there were any ice cream places around (even though it was about 32° at this point). The owner looks out over the lanes and scratches his whiskers, then tilts his CAT Diesel hat to the left and says, "Now that I think about it, there isn't a ice cream place in this town." I embellish a little. He was finely dressed, polite, friendly, and wore a polo shirt.

We decided that despite its lack of an ice cream parlor, we would roam the block of downtown historic Mt. Airy. And to my surprise, most of Mt. Airy is closed on Monday. Say what?

So it was back to the car and head for home. Despite the spare time, visiting downtown was a strike. But bowling in Mt. Airy was fun.