No More Air Lickers

No More Air Lickers

On October 7th, the State of Maryland awarded the title of Maryland Teacher of the Year to the most deserving and accomplished teacher in the state. However, there is a caveat this year. It is called the Linda Eberhart Rule.

If you have not listened to the radio in the last 8 seconds, Linda Eberhart is a previous winner of the Maryland Teacher of the Year. Yes, this is the name of the teacher who has no freakin' clue as to the pronunciation of the name of our state's Governor. Rumors that she must also be a winner of the city's Almost Qualified to Teach Award are unfounded.

Ms. Eberhart has emphatically, and relentlessly I may add, reminded us that she endorses Martn Amalley. (I'm going to spell how she says it). The state has effectively issued a gag order to all winners preventing them from exploiting their award to endorse political candidates in the future.

Miscellaneous Politics

A judge dropped the criminal charges against Thomas V. Mike Miller alleging that he cold-cocked developer Leo Bruso after a meeting. Charges were dropped for lack of evidence. This goes to prove that you can get away with punching someone, as long as no one saw it and you are a powerful Democrat in the Maryland General Assembly.

Empire of the Sun

There were 2 headlines on Tuesday covering the same topic. The first headline read:

"Firings of state workers found to violate law"

The second headline read:

"Panel Chair Says Ehrlich Firings not "Blatantly Illegal"

Guess which headline is from the Baltimore Sun and which one is from WBAL.com. This proves that you cannot trust anyone in the press that hasn't endorsed a Republican since Abraham Lincoln.

Google It

On October 9th, the Chicago Tribune reported that Google will purchase Youtube.com for $1.65 billion. On October 11th, Constellation Energy agreed to sell 6 gas-fired power plants for $1.64 billion. Are you telling me that 6 gas-fired power plants that provide electricity for hundreds of thousands of people are worth less than a website that posts videos made by 13 year olds of their friends falling off of trampolines?

The plants sold generate 3,145 megawatts of electricity. On the other hand, youtube's website has millions of hits per day from under-worked Americans who surf the net every day instead of working. Reportedly, some of these Americans work at gas-fired power plants that provide electricity to homes that run computers used to upload video of 13 year olds falling off of trampolines.

Stop the Genocide, and the misrepresentation!

A commercial began airing that shows footage of mutilated Africans. Then the footage pans to a picture of George W. Bush. The ads ends with a message calling for Bush to stop the Genocide now. This, of course, refers to the horrific ethnic cleansing occurring in the Darfur region in Sudan.

The commercial seems to imply that Bush is responsible for the genocide. It makes no reference to the fact that Islamic extremists are killing Black Christians, Animists, and Nubian Black Muslims. This week, the group calling itself Save Darfur, though fighting for a noble cause, gets the Ouy Kcuf Award for its irresponsible ad. We know the United Nations has done little to stop the violence. But this shouldn't be life shattering news.

Let's now relate this to another world event. During the 1990's and early 2000's, it is estimated that Saddam Hussein killed 300,000 Kurds, residents of northern Iraq. Who came to the rescue of these people? We can certainly state unequivocally that the United Nations did not. I think they demanded tough sanctions. Ooo!!!! Please, Braer Fox, not the sanctions! Anything but that! You can throw me into the Briar Patch, but please, Braer Bear, no sanctions!

Kim Jong Yu Ma KIng Me-Il, Part 2

On the Daily Show on Tuesday, Jon Stewart pointed out that in 2003, the world thought that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. The response? The U.S. and its coalition invaded the country and removed the dictator.

On October 8th, North Korea DID explode a nuclear device. How did the world respond? The United Nations said it "strongly condemned" the action, calling it a "grave challenge that violates international norms". The blast was also said to be unacceptable, complicated, and difficult. The corrupt U.N. Secretary General, Kofi Annan and his Security Council, even demanded that the U.S. go talk to North Korea. What?!! Are they afraid to do it themselves?

If I were U.N. Secretary General, not only would I act like Kofi and get my friends and family jobs, and enjoy kick-backs from the Oil-for-Food program, and enjoy the sexual escapades with U.N.'s female staff, then fire them, but I would also tell North Korea to quit with the WMD bullSH*T or we're coming in to kick your A$$!!! Why is that so hard? What's North Korea going to do, stop exporting manufactured goods? Nope - they don't make anything. Stop exporting agricultural products? Nope - they don't grow anything. The only trade in North Korea, according to Stephen Colbert, is the planning of ceremonial parades to honor the dear leader, Kim Jong Il.

But Seriously

On Wednesday, a plane crashed into a New York City high-rise. It was later learned that one of the victims was New York Yankee pitcher, Cory Lidle. Lidle was a husband and a father of a six year old boy. The seriousness of the news was demonstrated by the fact that ESPN interrupted a taped poker game. Additionally, in another demonstrated that the press has as much class as a Saturday afternoon, they were more concerned about being the first to report "the news" and Cory Lidle's father learned of his son's death while watching TV. Doesn't that just piss you off? Cory Lidle, may you rest in peace.