Today's message is a mixed bag. First, the Yankees were eliminated from the playoffs this weekend when they got trounced by the Detroit Tigers. All of a sudden, there were millions of Detroit Tigers fans all over the nation.
The New York press did what it does best, turns accomplishment into failure. Joe Torre has guided the Yankees to the playoffs for 13 straight seasons. His reward? The New York Post is demanding his resignation. His potential replacement? Tampa Bay's old manager, Loui Pinnella. His best accomplishment in the city of Tampa (and for you Baltimore City school graduates, the city's name is Tampa, not Tampa Bay)? His best season there was 21 games under .500. New York - you deserve what you get.
Does anyone remember what the Cleveland Indians did to Mike Hargrove after he led them to their 5th straight division title, but no World Series title? They fired him. Why? Because they wanted that manager that could take them to the next level. Their answer? They promoted the batting coach, Charlie Manuel. He took them to the playoffs once, probably on the momentum that Hargrove had in place. Since then, they have managed to be 12 games, 18 games, 20.5 games, and 22 games out of first. In the city where the river routinely caught on fire in the 60's and 70's, the next level after success must be abysmal failure.
Are His Glasses Half Dorky or Half Nerdy?
North Korea has been playing this game of "I know you are, but what am I" with the its neighbors and the United Nations for several years now. President Bush called them one of members of the Axis of Evil. Kim Jung-il, irritated that no one ever told him that he looks like a 1970's social studies teacher with bad glasses, decided to fulfill his country's image and reportedly detonated a nuclear device. There have been no official reports to confirm or deny this report.
In response, President Bush has announced that any attack on South Korea or Japan is to be considered an attack on the United States. There is no word on how the U.S. would respond to a North Korean attack on China. Most predict absolute laughter.
You Say Tomatos, I Say F-off
Bob Ehrlich, proving that he doesn't always know when to keep his mouth shut, stated that he is not sure if he would have nominated Lt. Governor candidate Kris Cox if she was not blind.
To make matters worse, Martin O'Malley immediately issued a press release that Ehrlich "questioned the qualifications of his pick for lieutenant governor and implied that she was chosen because she is blind."
In related news, there is a rumor that Martin O'Malley said something to the effect that he loves having sex with multiple women, once danced naked on a table top at The Hippo, and has not used heroine in over 5 months. No one at his campaign headquarters reponded to my request for a comment before publishing this post. Granted, I gave them 10 seconds to respond after I left a message. But that's not the point. The point is that they are not taking these accusations seriously.
Minority Report
The Democrats claim to be the party of the African Americans. That's why the first African American elected to a higher office in the state is Michael Steele, a Republican. Trying to keep pace, Martin "It's all shades of white and brown to me" O'Malley nominated Anthony Brown to be his running mate. I think it was quite clever to nominate someone with the last name of Brown. That ought to get some of the African-American vote. However, Anthony Brown is not African-American. His father is from Jamaica. He immigrated to American to attend Fordham University. His mother is from Switzerland. Look on the cover of a box of Swiss Miss. That is what someone from Switzerland looks like. Anthony Brown is about as African-American as Parris Glendening is a Marylander. It just ain't so!
In Summary...
That's all folks. Post a comment to my blog. I would like to read what you are thinking. And don't forget to order a "Vote NO'Malley bumper sticker". Email votenomalley@hotmail.com to get yours today!!!
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