Which Softball Coaches Suck?

Every parent wants their child to succeed. I'm not any different. When my daughter expressed an interest in playing softball, I jumped all over the chance to be an assistant coach. After all, my son has no interest in baseball and after playing for 10 years, I really miss it.

She got selected to play on a team coached by a parent who actually lives in our neighborhood. He actually played baseball in college, so he has a bit more experience than I do. The team is 3rd and 4th graders, so my daughter is on the younger side. And since a lot of parents hold their children back so that they can be the best in their class, we do have some 10 year olds on the team.

We played 2 scrimmages so far and we played fairly well. The scores were similar and the talent was even.

Yesterday, however, we played a different team. Half way through the first inning they were killing us already. I turned to our head coach and said, "That team is pretty good."

"Pretty good?" he says. "That team is stacked! And you want to know why? Their head coach is the commissioner of the league." And he wasn't kidding. Their worst player was as good as our best 3 players.

What the hell kind of crap is this? Why do parents so blatantly abuse their power? Oh yeah - because they can. And it wasn't even like she picked the best few players in the league. She picked ALL the best players in the league.

These 9 year olds were turning double plays and suicide squeezes. We're just happy when we hit a ground ball.

Another mistake - I was asked to be the umpire for our team and I called a generous strike zone. Why? Because they're 8 and 9. I don't want to be there all day waiting for them to hit it.

The other umpire for their team? Strike zone as tight as Martin O'Malley's clenched fist after he got the massive tax package, the largest in the state's history, passed through the General Assembly. Our pitchers were walking 10 batters in a row. Apparently it was only a strike if the player swung the bat at the ball.

What a bunch of F-in douchbags. I already hate softball and I'm sure the girls on our team feel the same way. So, if you're a parent of a child and the commissioner of your child's sports league - then you're a jerk and you know it!