Tuesday, December 11, 2007

It's All In the Numbers

My daughter started learning multiplication in her math class this year. Tonight, she had an assignment to come up with items that are arranged in numeric groups. For example, soda can come in packs of six, yogurt generally comes in packs of 4, there are 7 days in a week, etc. You get the idea.

I tried to help her with some ideas, but my wife objected to my contributions. Here they are:

0 - the number of public debates held by the Maryland General Assembly concerning Martin O'Malley's recent record-breaking tax increase.

1 - the number of political parties that actually have a say in the government in the state of Maryland

2 - the number of Republican governors in the state of Maryland over the past 40 years.

3 - the number of Baltimore City Public School students that can actually read

4 - the number of people that have confidence in Baltimore City School Superintendent Dr. Andres Alonso after he said that students in middle school are Constitutional people. (What the hell does that mean anyway???)

5 - the number of times the average Maryland resident wishes he could punch Martin O'Malley in the nose for being such a condescending, lying, snake in the grass.

6 - the percentage of the new sales tax that Martin O'Malley arrogantly somehow thinks only affects the rich people.

7 - the average number of days in a week that someone is shot in Baltimore City

8 - the number of months Martin O'Malley hoped that the State Board of Education would delay the vote for the State Schools Superintendent so that he could replace the board members with his own schlepps and he could then fire Nancy Grasmick. Instead, they voted to extend Nancy Grasmick's contract by another 4 years. He got so mad that he broke his looking glass on his desk.

9 - the number of middle school students that beat the crap out of a 26 year-old woman on a safe Baltimore City bus.

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