Naval Academy Goes Safe

In an effort to keep our future officers of the seas safe, the Naval Academy has decided that it will no longer honor the tradition of greasing the Herndon Monument and make the new class scale it.

Earlier this week the Superintendent of the Naval Academy said they have decided to breed of generation of super weenies that will be better equipped to command the new line of pink naval vessels.

We must protect our young sailors from the dangers of the greasy obelisk. Because we know that they will not have to face more dangerous challenges upon graduation. No Somali pirates. No attacks by North Koreans. No need to provide sea support to our troops in the Middle East. Nope. These are the no men and women of the Naval Academy who will pick the flowers along the Potomac.

In contrast to previous classes in Annapolis that learned teamwork & strategy, and overcame the challenges presented to them to scale the monument, the new class merely climbed upon each other and scaled the monument in 2 minutes and were greeted with muffled applause as older generations of graduates shook their heads.

So here's to you - the Class of 2013. May your journey be safe, flowery, and pleasant.