Wednesday, July 23, 2008

New Life At Mondawmin Mall

In an act of sheer bravery, Minnesota-based Target opened a new store today at the once dead Mondawmin Mall. This is not the first target in Baltimore, but it is the first Target. City leaders are hoping that this store will help invigorate the west side ghetto.

My sources say that in the several hours the store has been open, there have only been 147 instances of shoplifting and no one has been shot. Sheila Dixon is happy with these statistics and will probably use it as proof that Baltimore is moving forward.

In the article by Kelly McPherson, she points out that what is happening in Baltimore with retailers has already happened in other successful cities like Detroit. Yes - Baltimore aspires to be as successful as Detroit. Isn't the unemployment rate for black men between 18 and 50 years old like 75%? And isn't Detroit's mayor under investigation and currently being charged with several felonies? We're like sister cities!

Anyway, I predict that this store will be open for at least 3 years. After that, they will be pushed out of the way for a farmer's market or a Sticks-N'-Stuff.

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