Monday, June 02, 2008

June Fitness Goal!

After doing a quasi-Atkins diet at my sister's house yesterday, I decided it's time to schluff off some pounds. We celebrated my father's birthday yesterday and I ate 2 Polish Kielbasas, a cheeseburger, and a barbecued pork rib. Hmmmm...good. However, this morning the scale showed that I now weigh 174 pounds.

My doctor says I should weigh about 125. Yeah, whatever. At my peak physical fitness of my life, I weighed 150. My fat percentage was about 9%. And he's telling me that I'm 50 pounds overweight? In fact, the chart says that I'm obese. Either our perception of obese has changed or there's something wrong with their chart. People that workout a lot will weigh more than people that don't workout. Muscle weighs more than fat. And Martin O'Malley's budget is full of fat, so my muscles weigh more than O'Malley's budget. But I digress.

So my goal for the month of June is to lose 10 pounds. I want to get back to 164. We are heading to the beach in early July, so this will be my incentive. Otherwise, all the hot 22 year old's won't be checking me out. Well, it may be hard to check me out with the 3 kids and a wife with me, but I'll still be checking them out.

My plan includes eating more carrots. I'm on the 10 carrots a day diet. Plus I plan to not drink any soda - regular or diet. I know that soda is not good for you - sort of like O'Malley's taxes aren't good for anyone. Additionally. I also plan to pummel my cubemate for 30 seconds each day. Not only will this reduce stress, but this will give me about a 20 calorie burn. And no Doritos or ice cream before I go to bed. This will be the most difficult part of the plan. I have kept Frito Lay in business for the past 10 years. And whatever happened to Black Pepper Jack Doritos? Luv 'em!!!! Bring them back!!!

And going back to the Kielbasa that I had at my sister's, I'm reminded of one of my favorite jokes. Sorry if you are offended. Actually - no I'm not. It's just a joke.

So this guy walks into the store and heads to the counter in the back. He says to the man behind the counter, "Sir, I would like to purchase a pound of Kielbasa."
"A pound of Kielbasa?"
"Yes, sir!"
"You must be Polish."
"I am. But how would you know that?"
"This is a hardware store."


s_baghaii said...

Your analogy, like your belt, is strained.

MrsTwink said...

10 lbs in a month? You could do that, easily.

Do you want to borrow J's diet plan? I can send it to you.

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