Chicken? You want chicken???

Father's Day is that special day where fathers get to do whatever their wives tell them they want to do. And this year was no different. After completing my assigned yard work tasks, I did get some time to watch TV. Finally in the evening my wife asks me what I want to do for dinner. My answer is usually, "Eat". I suggested Kentucky Fried Chicken in Eldersburg, or KFC as they want to be called, or did they go back to Kentucky Fried Chicken?

Anyway, I had 2 coupons - 3 piece meal for $3.99, which includes 2 sides, a biscuit, 2 breasts and a wing. My other coupon was for 3 pieces of dark meat - 2 thighs and a drum, 2 biscuits, and 2 sides, for $4.99. Why were the dark pieces more than the white? I'm not sure. I didn't think about that until today. And I also didn't think about the total until today. Add in a $3.99 kids meal for my son and my total came to $17. (4+5+4=17???) Perhaps Martin O'Malley signed a 23.5% fat tax on fast food. If so, I'm sure the Maryland General Assembly blindly thought it was a great idea.

So I requested that the white meat be crispy and the dark meat be original recipe. (Now say this as a pimply-face skinny teenager with a horrible haircut, an earring , and his voice crackling as it changes because he's a little late getting to puberty) "We're all out of breasts." "Out or do not have any ready?" "they're cooking on the fryer. They'll be about 14 more minutes. The previous shift didn't leave us any." "I'll wait the 14 minutes." "Okay. And we're out of original recipe. " "Okay, I'll take the crispy."

Next customer. "I'd like a bucket of 1o pieces." "We don't have buckets." "Well, what do the 10 pieces come in?" "It's in a box. We're out of buckets." "Okay, whatever. And I'd like original recipe." "Okay. It'll be a few minutes. They're still cooking. The previous shift didn't leave us any." Note my increased interest in this conversation. He just told me they didn't have any original recipe chicken.

I jump over the counter, grab the kid's shirt with my fist and say, "Why does she get original recipe, but you make my take crispy?!!!!" "Oh, you want original? It'll be a couple minutes!" "Well, if I'm waiting 14 minutes for the breast meat, don't you think I'll wait 2 minutes for original? And can you not put everything together until the breasts are done? Otherwise the biscuits and mashed potatoes will be cold." "Okay, sir."

So finally the chicken is ready. The 18 year old store manager hands me my order and gives me a free 1800 calorie chocolate chip cake for the inconvenience. (And it's really 1800 calories. Look it up!) Fortunately the previous shift didn't hide all the cakes.

So having been to KFC before, I know that you check your order first before you leave. Guess what? It's ALL original recipe chicken. I return to the counter to state my complaint and I can hear their frustration with me under their breath. "Stupid ass customers keep changing their minds. Customers are so dumb. Hey, we're out of chicken. What should we do???"

Chicken? You want chicken? From a chicken restaurant?