Companies That Suck

People often ask me, "What companies should I avoid when I'm looking for good services or products?" Keeping a tight pulse of the market, here is my response:

1. Cingular (now At&T Wireless). I have been a Cingular customer for about 6 years. Their commercials are true - they really do have the most dropped calls and the worst coverage. Oh, wait, they advertised that they have the best. Well, that doesn't seem to

Sorry, I got cut off. And on top of that. When I upgraded my phones last year, they decided that it would be better if I converted my Family Plan to 2 separate plans at $80 a piece. And on top of that, they wanted me to call them 25 times and speak to 25 different people to get it resolved. And if that wasn't enough, they decided that I didn't qualify for the rebates that I was offered when I got the phone. If you ever hear some guy holler, "Cingular doesn't honor their rebates!" when he walks by the kiosks at the mall, that's probably me.

2. Adelphia Cable - they just got bought by Comcast, but before that - they sucked huge wankers. My Internet connectivity was intermitant. To call and complain, they wanted me to call long distance to an office in Westminster, Maryland. I opted to call the toll-free number and ask to be transfered, then wait on hold for 20-45 minutes at a time. Plus, they tripled my rates in the last couple of years, while simultaneously advertising that I as receiving the best entertainment package available and I now have more choices. You've heard the argument. I don't need WE, and Bravo!, and CSPAN42. That'd be like celebrating that you now get to choose from 10 different kinds of Brussell Sprouts for dinner. Who the hell wants it?

3. Len Stoler Ford - located in diverse suburban Owings Mills, Maryland, this dealer has cornered the market on crack-smoking customer service reps. I took my car there once because I needed to replace the serpantine belt. I called ahead, told them what I wanted, identified the part that was needed, scheduled an appointment, and promptly dropped off the car. I get a call later that afternoon and he said that I needed $1300 worth of repairs. I'm like, "How do you figure? Were you able to determine this when you replaced the belt?" I think it was more like, "Pass the crack pipe, dude, I think we got another sucker. Tell him he needs an engine flush." What's that? It's like a super oil change where we drain the engine and refill it. You mean, like a regular oil change? No, not really. We really flush it real good. Fantastic. You're not only dumb, but you're also stupid.

4. Liberty Ford - not looking good for Ford. My car received another recall notice once. (I've only received 2 notices in the 12 years that I've owned my hot-rod Mercury Mystique) Again, I call ahead, tell them the what I needed, identified the part that was being recalled, scheduled an appointment. I take the day off to get this done. However, I also feel like crap. My head is pounding, my body aches. I feel dizzy. It feels like strep coming on. I go in anyway. I drop off the keys to the guy at the service desk. I tell him that I'll be in the waiting room. An hour passes. I finished reading the magazine that I brought as I wasn't too interested in reading Field & Stream. An hour and a half passes. I'm burning up. My head hurts more. I go into the service area and look at my car in the shop through the windows. I go back to the waiting area. Two hours pass. I start to doze in the seat. At almost three hours, I've had enough. I go back in there and ask for the status of my car. He pulls out the paperwork. Here's the ensuing conversation:

"We called and left you a message at home over 2 hours ago. We ain't got that part in stock."
"I told you I was going to be in the waiting room."
"Sorry, I didn't write that down."
"What? And why don't you have the part? I told you when I made the appointment what part was being recalled?"
"Well, we don't like to order the parts until we know that's what we need"
"But the recall notice said you had to replace it."
"You know how those things go. Sometimes they're fine."
"Get my car please."
"Would you like to reschedule my appointment"
"Sure, with a different dealer."

4. Wal-Mart We all know that Wal-Mart is an idiot magnet. You have to be an idiot to work there. You must be an idiot if you shop there. I live in a fairly affluent area. When I see '83 Chevy Malibu's in the parking lot with no hubs and the rear door held on with duct tape, I have to wonder, "Where are they coming from???" Try finding something in Wal-Mart that's not made in Communist dictatorship-goverened China. American-made? What's that? What's even better are the American flags that they sell. Yes, they're made in China, too. Oh, yeah, and that idiot. Yes, he's me.

5. Advanta - (formerly Colonial National Bank) I got a credit card from Colonial National Bank. It had no annual fee and no other fees to speak of. Then they got bought or merged or something, but they became Advanta. That's when all hell broke loose. Like all companies, they send out the terms of the new contract in an undescriptive pamphlet written in a 2 point font that no one reads. One of the new terms introduced me to the new annual fee of $35. When I got the charge, I promptly called to complain. Not their problem they tell me. I should have read the terms. Then I want to cancel the card. Okay, there's a $25 cancellation fee. What???? Okay, then I'll hold onto the card and never use it. Oh, by the way, sir, there's a $15 no-usage fee. Fight fire with fire, I say. For three months, I charge 14 cents worth of gas to my Advanta credit card. It would have been less, but I couldn't click the gas nozzle any quicker. I figured it cost them 27 cents to mail the bill, plus the paper, the return envelope, then they had to pay some poor schmuck who couldn't get a job at Wal-Mart to process the check, etc... I called them after the third month and asked if they would find it favorable if I cancelled my card without charges. They politely agreed.