I have 3 kids - one of each

That's an old line that my dad used when people asked him if he had any kids. No, that's not to imply that any are transvestites or anything. So my excuse for not blogging recently is the best excuse ever. My wife gave birth to our third child, an 8 lb girl. She's a wonderful addition to our family and since it was such as easy pregnancy and delivery, perhaps she's not the last addition to our family.

Despite being the third child, this delivery had it's little surprises and funny nuances. My wife called me at work at 10:30 to let me know she was in labor. I knew that she was to have a doctor's appointment at 10am, so perhaps he initiated labor??? Nonetheless, I begin my panic. My wife then asks what we should do with the kids. Being a 20 minute ride home from work, I wasn't too worried about the kids yet. I told her that I would hurry up and leave and call her back when I got in the car.

I get off of the phone and I announce to my coworkers that it was time. Several jump to their feet as if they are going with me. One exclaims, "Oh, my goodness, my heart it racing and it's not even my wife!" I shut down my computer, grab my things and as I'm turning the corner to leave my cubicle, one yells out, "did you set you Out Of Office reply on your email?" Are you kidding me? That's not exactly a priority at this point. Could you imagine that conversation with my wife? "Sorry I missed the birth of our child. I had to set my Out Of Office reply on my email."

I called her on the way home and we decide that we would drop the kids off at our next-door-neighbor's house. Normally, there is little on the way home to impede my journey. This time, Estelle, Gertrude, Mertyl, Betty, and Ethyl decide to pull out in front of me and speed up, slow down, and time it just right so that we hit every red light and I miss every opportunity to pass them. When I turn at the light to my neighborhood, I see them all giving thumbs-up to each other. Blue-haired bitches.

I arrive home and the minivan is not in the driveway. Where in the world could she be? Did she tell me to meet her at the hospital? I go into a panic. I leave my truck running in the street and race to my neighbor's house. She answers and says that my wife dropped the kids off at a friend's house so that she could go to the doctor's office, so she had to return to that friend's house to get them and bring them home. I run into the house and start getting essentials. We already packed a suitcase. I grab my travel bag with toothbrush and deodorant and such, along with a couple of magazines, the portable DVD player, some DVD's (you never know how long with is going to take).

My wife arrives, we shuffle the kids next door, and we hit the road. I ask her if I need to drive really fast or just take it easy. She looks at me and starts laughing. "You're more nervous than I am" she says. I take it easy and we get to the hospital a bit before noon. We arrive, get to a room, and get settled. Her doctor visits and wants her to take a bag of penicillin because she tested positive for Strep B. She says it will take an hour for her to absorb the bag through the IV.

An hour passes. Then 2. My wife asks the nurse to page the doctor. "If she breaks my water, it'll be done in no time" she tells them. 5 o'clock, they finally find the doctor. it's been almost 5 hours (for those of you who attended schools in Baltimore City, the difference between noon and 5pm is 5 hours). She breaks the water and guess what? 15 minutes later she can see the tip of the head. Two long hard pushes and out flops with white-slime covered beautiful baby girl. She has all 13 fingers and toes.

After a quick power washing and a few minutes under the Burger King heat lamp, the swaddle her and hand her over. She passed the test. I head out to the waiting room where my kids wait with my parents, my mother-in-law, and my sister and her family. I pull my kids to my side and whisper to them that they have a baby sister. My daughter jumps for joy. My son lowers his head and buries it in my chest - ready to cry. He wanted a little brother. Don't worry. He's come to love her.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of this story.