Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Do You Need A Bag?

I wish I would hear this question more often when I go shopping. We all know that those stupid blue plastic bags take 4.5 billion years to decompose, which if I'm not mistaken is the average tenure of a member of the U.S. Senate. And if you live in Baltimore City you're required to toss empty bags into your neighbors' trees.

Yesterday I was in Food Lion (pronounced Food Lee-uhn). I bought a toothbrush, raisins, and a jar of pizza sauce. I carried all 3 up to the register in my hands. As I handed her my shoppers' tracking card (which they call a bonus card) I told her that I didn't need a bag. She stopped what she was doing and looked at me. "You don't need a bag?", emphasizing "baaaaaag". "You don't need a baaaaaag?" "No, I do not need a bag." "Oooooooo-kay."

What the hell? Why am I an idiot for not wanting a bag? I can carry this stuff. This is just one example. We do our big grocery shopping at Martin's in Eldersburg. If left to do things themselves then EVERYTHING would go in a bag. Milk - in a bag. A bag of potatoes - in a bag. Why would you put a bag in a bag? Aren't the potatoes already in a bag? This drives me nuts. Don't they want to save money.

And for the record, when I do use those bags, I recycle them by bringing them back to the grocery store where they make into benches where smokers can sit outside and enjoy their carcinogens.

Do you need a bag for that?

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