Sunday, January 07, 2007

Things That Drive Me Nuts

Things That Drive Me Nuts

The words interesting and extra have been replaced by "Extreme". Animal Planet shows "Extreme" animals that breed fast. Sour patch kids that are extra sour are extreme. Surveys now ask if you are a) extremely dissatisfied, dissatisfied, satisfied, or extremely dissatisfied with their overuse of the word extreme.

Coupons. Anyone who uses coupons knows what I'm talking about here. Once you were able to save $1.00 or 2 boxes of cereal. Now the new coupons excitedly inform you that you can "Save $1.00 or 5 boxes!!!"

Miller Light bragging that they won the World Beer Cup for the 4th time, failing to mention that they were in one of 85 categories, their category being American Style Light lager. They beat out Budweiser and Michelob. Whoop-dee-doo. I heard that water placed a closer 4th.

Breaking news - why is every news story on the local news "breaking"? Breaking news has been everything from a car fire on the beltway to a couple of teenagers stuck on a rock on the Gunpowder River. Give it a rest! If it ain't a big deal, it ain't breaking news.

Conveniently located - you know if a business advertises that they are conveniently located, they are located in the middle of flippin' nowhere. Nothing is conveniently located for everybody.

The Big 10 - the sports press really irks me. I'm talking to you ESPN, Sports Illustrated, Fox Sports, etc... Why do you all think that the Big 10(11) is so great? First of all, there are 11 teams in your conference. Time to start calling it the Big 11. You may be able to fool your students, but you can't fool the rest of us. We can count.

Speaking of counting, let's count how many times the Big 11 has won the ACC/Big 10 Challenge in basketball. That would And football - the SEC gets a bad rap. Why? Because they are forced to play the other really good football teams - like Georgia, Alabama, Auburn, Florida...and guess where they play? In the SEC. Someone has to lose those games. A couple of Big 10 teams run the field every year in conference play and look great, only to get their donkeys kicked in the bowl games.

And when it comes to football, don't even get me started on Notre Dame! Oh, wait. It's too late. Did you know that Notre Dame has lost 9 consecutive bowl games? Central Michigan has won more bowl games in the last 10 years. Perhaps Central Michigan will get an exclusive contract with ABC.

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