Saturday, January 03, 2015

July - A Month in Review

Germany stunned host-country Brazil in the semi-finals of the World Cup by beating the 817-1.  It was Brazil's largest defeat ever in a World Cup game, leaving fans in tears, just like when Maryland Governor Martin O'Malley announced that he was going to tax the rain.

Former New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin was sentenced to 10 years in prison for a bribary scandal.  The crooked mayor is best known for his gross mishandling of the city's management during and after Hurricane Katrina, which he indirectly blamed President George W. Bush.  Nagin also infamously declared that New Orleans was a chocolate city, implying that white people weren't allowed.

Former Playboy model Pamela Anderson filed for divorce for the 817th time, equaling the number of goals scored by Germany against Brazil in the World Cup game.

Israel and Hamas made the news in July when they decided to toss missiles at each other.  The well-funded terrorist group doesn't have the fire power of the armed Israeli military.  Israel decided it would be pretty cool to launch 500 missiles and bomb at the Hamas-controlled Gaza strip over 24 hours.  It's more exciting than the New York City 4th of July Fireworks.

July marked the 6th month anniversary of the legalization marajuana in Colorado.  When politicians and prominent leaders in the business community were asked what the impact of the legalization of marajuana was on the community, business, and government, most responded, "Ahhh.....dude!!! All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine!"

The NBA announced it would raise the salary cap for teams to $63.1 million.  NBA Commissioner Adam Stern declared with a higher salary cap, teams would be able to sign more big-time slam-dunkers to help continue the diminishing respectability of the game.

In New York, a fat dumbass who fell asleep during a game and was broadcast on live national television filed a master piece lawsuit full of spelling mistakes and grammar errors.  The plaintiff is suing the New York Yankees, ESPN, television commentators John Kruk, Dan Shulman, Major League baseball, television makers Panasonic, Mitsubishi, Sony, in addition to Hostess, Tastykake, Breyers, Oscar-Myer, and David Hasselhoff.

Seeking the glory that it held during the 1960's, Vladimir Putin has continued down a Russian warpath.  For shits and giggles, the Russians or a group sympathetic with the Russians thought it would be funny to shoot down a Malaysian passenger airline.  Everyone denies involvement and have even denied access by investigators to the crash site.

One of my favorite actors, James Garner, passed away in July.  Jim Rockford, Bret Maverick, The Scrounger, Lieutenant Commander Charles Edward Madison, and Sergeant Major Zach Carey.

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