Thursday, May 17, 2007

Preakness Special

Maryland Slots

In what had been a fierce battle of political wills, both Martin O'Malley and House Speaker Michael Busch are now receptive to having slots at horse race tracks. Martin O'Malley even went as far as to say that he had an epiphany that if the tracks do not get slots, then the horse racing industry will continue to rot and eventually die in the state of Maryland.

Where have I heard that before? Oh, yeah, the previous governor, Bob Ehrlich. Why is it different this time? Because the hard left-wing liberal extremist who's better at rhetoric is now running the State House. Previously, O'Malley (who has earned the nickname of the Teflon Leprechaun by WBAL Radio) was not a supporter of the slots legislation because he said that gambling is philosophically bad, except for the state government-sponsored Maryland Lottery, which is good.

Let's temporarily ignore the fact that most of the revenue generated by the Maryland Lottery is from the poor uneducated citizens of our great state. Slots, as we know, brings people from surrounding states and they bring their money. We know this by the number of people driving to Delaware and West Virginia, and soon to Pennsylvania. I say, why allow slots in Maryland when there are plenty of places to take our money, including our surrounding neighbors that have slots? They seem to want our money as much as Peter Franchot, but they want us to have fun giving it to them, whereas Tricky Pete just wants to pry the money from us.

Michael Busch, who has been the biggest obstacle to the slots legislation, let along the biggest obstacle when he walks down the hall, went on WBAL Radio over the weekend and said that raising taxes in Maryland is inevitable. The liberal socialists just don't feel like cutting any more of the budget because if they do, the people that get free money and services will no longer vote for them, and their votes are way more important than making the responsible changes to make the budget balance.

So what new taxes can we anticipate? First, the state will raise the sales tax by 20%. "Oh, it's only a penny" they will say. Yes, but these pennies will add up to millions of extra dollars that the Maryland Legislature can use to send illegal immigrants to college for free. Or they could spend this money to house murderers who get light sentences, like John Gaumer, who beat a girl to death whom he had met on He then cut off her finger tips and removed her jaw and her teeth. Hopefully he gets a nice cozy cell and suffers no emotional discomfort from being incarcerated. He's very sorry I hear.

Going back to horse racing, the Preakness is this weekend. All eyes around the country will be focused on Baltimore. Fortunately, the national TV cameras will not be focused on the blocks surrounding the track. The track is located in a crime-ridden ghetto. Travel in packs. Do not look anyone in the eye. If you do, you will get shot. Lots of people get shot and die in Baltimore. In fact, there have been over 100 people that have been killed in Baltimore this year.

And let's not forget about that infield party. Compare that to the boring events in Church Hill Downs and Belmont Park. There, women wear spring dresses and bonnets, talk politely among the well-dressed men, and enjoy the afternoon at the exciting event. Down Baltimore, the Preakness features the local radio station, 98 Rock, enticing drunk sluts to show their boobs. Guys do beer funnels, show their guns, get into fights, and generally make asses of themselves. One year, we were lucky enough to see one of these donkeys run out onto the track during one of the races and almost get killed by a horse. Make us proud! Show the nation what a bunch of morons we are in Baltimore!!!!

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