Dear BGE,I am writing in response to the letter you sent me this week. Its title is "Important Information About Your Electric Bill & Rate Stabilization".
First, I am hoping you can clear something up for me. What do you mean by rate stabilization? In the first paragraph, you mention a 50% electricity rate increase. Is "Rate Stabilization" a euphemism for "boning customers in the ass with a huge rate increase"?
Regardless, it is my fortunate position to inform you that my wife voted for Governor Martin O'Malley. As you will recall, Martin O'Malley promised to do something about the rate increase that Governor Ehrlich's Public Service Commission approved. And this rate increase, coupled with the previous 15% rate increase, would make the total rate increase slightly more than the rate increase proposed by the Republican administration, who was apparently "too chummy" with you. Therefore, as I'm sure you will agree, this rate increase does not apply to us.
My best guess is that your letter was inadvertently mailed to your hard-working consumers instead of the big evil corporations that Martin O'Malley warned us about. Nonetheless, I will take no offense by you, BGE, accidentally sending me this letter.
Therefore, since this rate increase does not apply to me, please maintain my electricity rates at their current level. If there is any disagreement with this arrangement, please speak to Martin O'Malley. I am certain that he will pick up the difference.
Sincerely,
Bent Over and Smiling
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