Super Bowl Hangover

Hangovers come in many forms. Some hangovers are from drinking the entire case of Bud Lite behind the dumpster in the Burger King parking lot. Others originate from 3 plates of salty meatballs, chicken wings, chili, 4 variations of taco dip, and 5 beers. While others witnessed the end of the 2008-09 football season.

As Super Bowls go, this one was pretty good. I expected a blowout. The Cardinals actually kept it interesting throughout the game and even gave us some false excitement with about 2:30 to go in the 4th quarter as Larry Fitzgerald blasted down the field and scored a touchdown putting the Cards on top of the Steelers. But, alas, Ben Hamgburger pulled another touchdown pass out of his sphincter and plopped it down in front of our faces that was more offensive than Janet Jackson's left breast.

And that wasn't all the excitement. Apparently, some fans in Phoenix got to enjoy 10 seconds of porn instead of football (a fair trade if you ask me). Comcast and station KVOA are investigating how this could have happened. Let me help - a) deviant employee or b) a hacker with a great sense of humor. Are you really investigating or are you consulting your lawyers about the ramifications from the FCC?

So now that the Super Bowl is over, Pittsburgh fans can rest those yellow scary washcloths and start looking for a job again. Arizona fans can go back to their depression and desert smog. And the rest of us can go about hating the Steelers.

And for those non-sports fans, they can stop pretending they know what's going on. "I heard that Brett Favre kicked a homerun into the goal!" You know who you are. Don't pretend you know all about football. If you don't know a bootleg from a flee-flicker from a quick hitch, you're going to stick out like an honest politician on the Baltimore City Council.

Quasi-sports fans can pretend that they are interested in the upcoming baseball season. Others will begin watching the NCAA basketball season as March Madness soon approaches. No one really gives a sheet about the NBA. 5 of us will watch hockey. Women's volleyball, anyone?

And the football addicts will agitatingly hunker in their chair, shaking with anticipation for the new season to start. They claim that they are hard-core fans, driving around in their purple campers and buses, wearing make-up, feathers, beads, and camouflage. But I say they are clowns who have no life outside of football. I bet most couldn't provide their children's middle names.

So as that empty part of your life begins, go play with your kids. Take your wife to dinner and a movie. Make that to-do list. Because before you know it, it'll be time for football again.