Special Session

Today is the first day of the Maryland Special Session, called on by our handsome, yet deceiving and condescending Governor, Martin O'Malley. Is this true? Yes, Martin O'Malley is handsome.

O'Malley has a bad habit and he has chosen to deal with his habit. He wants to be honest with the public. Yes - he has a problem. He loves to spend our money. In fact, he wants to spend so much of our money, that he's run out of money to spend. Now, O'Malley has a plan to deal with this problem. O'Malley has proposed an estimated 4,183 new taxes do deal with his bad habit.

Fortunately, 80% of Marylanders will pay less taxes under his new plan. Unfortunately, the other 95% will pay more.

For example, under his new plan, which is the largest tax increase in the history of the state of Maryland, only people that spend money will suffer from the 20% increase in sales tax. Additionally, only people that buy cars will fork over the 14% increase in vehicle registration taxes. This is on top of the 70% increase in electricity that he planned on stopping. That was, of course, until he planned on not stopping that 70% increase.

Many voters are outraged at these increases. Analysts show that these taxes will proportionally hit the lower and middle class the hardest. In fact, these taxes are so unpopular that O'Malley's approval rating has actually plunged. Fortunately for him, his mirror told him that he's still the fairest one in the land.

However, his growing unpopularity has caused him to strike back. He is soaking us with condescending commercials of an average middle class couple who know that O'Malley's huge appetite for spending lots of money is our previous governor's fault. And since the new tax package will affect businesses and the wealthy the most, then it must be okie-dokie!

And these commercials come with threats. "If you don't approve my threats, I'm going to punch you below the belt!" he appears to be saying. O'Malley says that if we don't start nodding happily at his massive tax increases, he will remove the police from our streets, fire our teachers, and have to stop giving medical attention to our elderly. Though for Baltimore City residents, the first 2 threats seem okay.

And everyone hates businesses. They're all greedy. That's why they hired us and pay us money so that we can buy SUV's and go out drinking every night - those bastards! And most of us don't work for wealthy people - we work for the poor, the uneducated, and the homeless, right? Oh, wait - that's liberal propaganda spewed in reverse. (We'll just ignore their flawed logic here.)

I have been searching for the time when the public can weigh in on this financially hurtful package. The public should have a say on such consequential legislation, right? After all, this will help determine if we buy new shoes and medication and feed our children or live in the dark and walk to work. However, no. There will be no public input. If you fear for your well-being - contact your state legislatures immediately. Tell them to tell O'Malley - "No, thanks!".

To find out who your elected officials are (because I know most of you don't vote and don't have a clue as to who determines your fate), go to this site:

http://mdelect.net/electedofficials/

Your elected representatives will appear on the left. You can then go to this page and contact your state legislator:

http://mlis.state.md.us/cgi-win/mail32.exe/

Good luck!