Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Van Halen Inducted to Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inducted Van Halen on Monday. Indisputably the greatest rock band of all time, the boys of Van Halen continued to prove that they are some of the most flamboyant, unpredictable, and psychotic members of the rock-n-roll community. The only two members of the band to show up at the ceremony were Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony, two of the members who are technically not even in the band anymore.

Eddie Van Halen is now back in rehab. It was reported that he is trying to get down to one bottle of Jack Daniels before breakfast. Eddie's son Wolfgang is now the bassist for the band since Eddie kicked out Michael for continuing his friendship with former lead singer Hagar. Wolfgang was unable to attend the event since he has a book report due at Pasadena Middle School the following day. Alex Van Halen, always good on the drums, has no spine and Eddie props him up. Diamond David Lee Roth was a no show and claimed it was because he could not come to an agreement with even coordinators about which song he would sing. Come on now, Dave. We've known you for 30 years now. If you want to get up there and sing a song, you know that they'll let you as long as you promise not to drop the F-word in it.


So being a class act, Michael Anthony wished the other members of the band well on their road to recovery and even did a shout out to Gary Cherone, the third lead singer of the band who was not listed by the Hall of Fame as a member of the band. Sammy Hagar had nothing bad to say. When interviewed, he mentioned that a lot of things were out of everyone's control and he wished that all of the band members could have been there.

So what's the deal? You only get inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame once. I realize that everyone wants to minimize their trips to Cleveland, but if ever there is a trip that you must make, it's your induction into the Hall of Fame. Obviously 2 members of the band are sober. The others ones are so tripped out that they probably have no idea what day it is and their egos are so big that they couldn't fit them in the pick-up truck. You blew it boys! You're still my favorite band, but you suck!

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