Taser the Transfat in 80 Days

Tasers

The Taser has come under increased scrutiny after Baltimore County Police used the device on a deranged man who refused to put a baseball bat down. The man ended up dying. And being a good Democrat and coming to the rescue for the common criminal, Delegate Vincent Gardina called for a review of police procedures.

The Taser has been criticized for being deadly, and according to Amnesty International, its use leads "to torture or cruel, inhuman and degradating treatment." Amnesty International lists the Taser as one of the most deadly nonlethal weapons after pepper-spray and political rhetoric.

In its defense, law abiders have argued that instead of using the Tasers, police could use Glock G31's to subdue drunk, irrational, violent aggrevators. However, this has a slightly deadlier result.

I, however, have an alternate solution. People should not argue, shout profanities, and swing baseball bats at the police. What do you think is going to happen when you put them in this situation? Do you think they are going to suddenly realize that you are maintaining your sanity and leave you to settle matters on your own? Anyone who gets tasered should be grateful they didn't get a 357 slug through the sternum.

Transfat

In another local story, Montgomery County Councilmember Duchy Tractenberg (that's a woman), wants to ban the use of trans fat in restaurants. She says that restaurants are responsible for our health and this change in the law will help us become healthier Marylanders.

Americans are becoming overly obese and obesity in elementary school children in risen dramatically. In Baltimore City, elementary school children include children between 4 and 17. Additionally, the use of trans fat may be attributable to the rise in heart disease. However, several studies to link obesity and heart diseases to poor eating habits had inconclusive results. Therefore, according to the Montgomery County councilmember, it is the job of the government to make us healthier.

Recently, the prisoners at Jessup Prison were removed and sent to other facilities. Many suspect that the prison was emptied so that trans fat offenders could be sentenced there to serve hard labor.

I propose that we we ban the use of Tasers in all situations except in the ones that involve the use of trans fat. What better way to cut down on the use of trans fat than to make it illegal and tasering these defiant criminals who are serving this?