With Oursourcings the Trouble With Is

It's amazing how little blogging you get to do when you're really busy at work and at home. I mean, what's important here anyway?!!!

Another reason I haven't blogged much recently is that I'm spending most of my free time stuffing my mattress with what little money I have left. At least it makes my mattress more comfortable. Jim Cramer, THE most irresponsible financial prick on television, told me and all Americans to sell everything and help intensify the panic. He performed magically as he delivered his advice. He even pretended to choke up. Unfortunately, it was not because Ann Curry was choking him.

One thing that's kept me busy this week, as I've mentioned, is work. Now I should be more productive than I am. However, my company, Conglomerated Association of Industrial and Financial Conglomerates, like other industrial and financial conglomerates, has farmed out work to India for the cheaper labour. However, in doing so, we are now forced to take a class in interpretation and logic.

To illustrate, here are some of the endearing emails that I have received from some of our friends in India:

Dear Eludius, I Review the issues sent by you earlier all the report Case issues and wrongs names are based on the data loaded to XML. If there is no issues with the Layout (Ignore Cases and names) it will the Data needs to be tested.

And

Dear Eludius, I update the templates and ran the test again. The data in the XML matches the requirement. I would test the report publishing side and let you know if there is any issue.

Would test it? But what? Are you taunting me? Are we missing a conjunction here? I have a sweet School House Rock video that this guy needs to watch.

And this one - very enthusiastic, I think, or are we in trouble?:

Dear Eludius, Thanks to all in supporting this till now and will continue to expect you overwhelmed support in this matter for the next few days when it crucial to get this completed.

Uhhhh……..ok.

Can you help me with this one?

Dear Eludius, Till now I am not able to get a confirmation what that is DEV has the last piece of development.

Dear, India, Till now I have no idea what you're asking me. Or should I say, 'Till now askings what you confirmation not to the able?'

Finally, what is this sentence missing? Oh, yes. A verb.

Dear Eludius, This the new plan as indicated in our weekly meeting with the business.

Now, don't get me wrong. Each person that I deal with is very friendly and never shows any signs of frustration. And this can make for some great entertainment. But be forewarned. If you outsource to another country, this is the kind of communication you will need to learn to understand. And never forget, I as expects you overwhelmed the mostly to be if you when work the outsourced.