Joker - Joker - Potpouri

Remember Joker's Wild? I loved that show. I watched it with my grandmother when I would go spend time with my grandparents in the summer.

Potpourri was the category for non-related topics. It could be anything. So here is today's potpourri.

Winthrop men's basketball plays at 6pm tonight on ESPNU. Make sure you watch it!

American Idol cliche' of the year - "watching you is very frustrating."

You know you're getting old when you take Step Aerobics class at the gym and you don't know any of the songs.

I can French braid girls' hair. One time at a party in college when under the influence of my friend Miller, I asked a girl I barely knew if I could French braid her hair. She let me, but I could tell she was very uncomfortable. I can't help but laughing every time I think about that now.

I was on the phone yesterday with my college roommate who lives in Charlotte, North Carolina while he was in line at the drive-thru at McDonald's. While ordering I kept yelling into the phone, "Get me a Big Mac! Get me a Big Mac!!"

Drunk people should not be allowed to text - unless they say really bizarre things that you can use against them later.

I have a coworker who is learning a new process that I am teaching him. I gave him a link to the directory of data and he said that he is not that familiar with that directory yet, but over time "I should be able to feel myself around." Um.....okay.

We had our softball coaches' meeting last night. I'm not interested in the history of the program, nor your involvement. I don't care how good your team was in 1995. Just shut the hell up and give me my lineup and a copy of the rules so I can go home.

If you do a Google-search for "no touch love", the first result is "No touch paper towel dispensers".

An average looking girl suddenly becomes much more attractive when she either wears glasses or a baseball cap. If she wears both my knees are shaking.

I once got assaulted by a man's eyebrows.

My name is not Baby. It's Eludius. Mr. Eludius if you're nasty.

I hate partisan politics. Why can't you just agree with me? Things would be so much easier.

During the Presidential campaign, they said that Obama was from Illinois. But he's from Hawaii.

If Doug Gansler is going to recognize same sex marriages from different states because we should respect the laws of other states, then he should recognize Alaska's concealed carry laws in Maryland.

Since Hollywood is remaking all of the movies and TV Shows from our childhood, they should just go all over the top and remake the Molly Ringwald trilogy with Li'l Kim as Molly's characters.

If the Post Office eliminates Saturday delivery that is totally going to ruin my Netflix queue.

Girls in high school hate dorks - until they get older and we have steady jobs, make good money, and they realize how funny we really are.

I'm not Samurai Mike.

Please don't play male enhancement commercials on the radio during the day. My little kids listen to the radio too and I'm not ready for that conversation.

I secretly listen to Tina Turner, but don't tell anyone.

I hate it when people ask if they can ask a random question, and then I find out it's work-related. If you're going to ask me a random question, make it something like, "Who was my 2nd grade teacher?" Now that's random!

And these are my random thoughts of the day.

Apples Don't Fall Far From the Tree

On Saturday we ventured to Towson Town Center to finish our Christmas shopping. My wife woke me up at 6:30 am and told me we had to hurry up and get going. To do what? Get there before the people that work there got there?

I dragged my donkey around long enough that we didn't have the kids ready until 8:30-ish. We got to the mall a little after 9am. It wasn't too crowded. I think my wife feared massive hyper shoppers knocking people over laying havoc in their wake.

During one of her scheduled feedings of our 4 month old daughter, I took my son and daughter for a walk around the mall. We ventured over to the Rain Forest Cafe to check out the crocodile in the pond. My son was all excited to go see it ----until we got there. All of a sudden, you'd think I was taking him into a slaughter house, or worse yet, a Democratic Convention rally.

He no longer wanted to eat lunch there. Time passed and we reconnoitered with my wife. It was about 10:30. My wife was now being harassed by my daughter because she wanted to eat lunch there. My son became very anxious. We decided to go there for lunch, but we'd look at the fish tanks for a while to calm him down. He finally agreed to go in. We had a great lunch. He held his fingers in his ears for much of the time, but I think he was surprised that no monster (or Democrats) attacked him.

After we left, my wife told my son that she was very proud of him for being brave and also for not complaining while we were at the restaurant. A few seconds later we passed a cellphone kiosk. He turns to us and says, "Since you're so proud of me you should get me a cellphone!" Seriously? Is this child mine?

Later that day my niece is over at my house. He gets outs his GEOTracks train set. He says, "Hey, Sophia, do you want to play with trains?" "Okay", she says. "Okay, go ahead" and he walks away. Calgon, take him away!!!