Happy Work Anniversary!

Yesterday was my 15th anniversary for working at American Amalgamated Corrugated Conglomerates of America.  15 Years!  My accomplishment was recognized with a timely email stating:

Thank you for 15 years of completing your assigned tasks in an appropriate and timely manner.

I think I may print that one out and hang it in my prison cell.  Another coworker who started the same day as me did not get a congratulatory email, so I shared mine with him.

I got to thinking.  I've reported to 17 different supervisors in 15 years.  I've sat in 14 different seats.  It's probably time for me to move seats again, but not time for a new supervisor.

In 15 years, all of my children were born, I bought a house, 3 of my 4 nephews and nieces were born.  I've had only 2 cars, my wife has had 3.  I've lost most of my hair, gained weight, lost weight.  Paris Glendening was the Governor of Maryland when I started working there.  Bill Clinton was President.  Jessica Simpson was 16  years old and the Orioles had 2 more winning seasons to go before their sub-.500 streak.

The Ravens were a year old.  The Maryland Terps basketball roster included Sarunus Jasikevicius, Laron Profit, Obinna Ekezie, Rodney Elliott, Matt Hahn, Matt Kovarik, Terrence Morris, Mike Mardesich, and Terrell Stokes.

Titanic won best picture, over As Good As It Gets, The Full Monty, Good Will Hunting, and L.A. Confidential - all movies that are now on TCM.

Many of my coworkers were in college or high school.  A couple were even in middle school.  My computer had Word Perfect, Lotus 1-2-3, and GroupWise email.

Wow.  Where has the time gone?

Happy 11th Anniversary

Today, May 11th, is my 11th anniversary here at XYZ Vinyl Sidings and Discount Medications Company. Specifically I work in the technology department of the mutual funds division.

I started here in 1997 after a 3 month job search since being laid off from my job as a packaging supervisor at the now-demised Carr Lowrey Glass Company. I wasn't too keen on working there anyway. My time there included seeing a floating body in the Middle Branch, the erection of barbed wire fences around the company, several foot chases by Baltimore City's finest chasing Martin O'Malley's worst, and dozens of breaking and entering of cars and houses.

In the 11 years that I've worked here, I have worked in 5 different buildings, had 13 supervisors, 7 managers, sat in 13 different desks, and been promoted 9 times.

Also in that span of time, I've had 75 idiot coworkers, 9 great coworkers, have had to beat of 14 female admirers (though I will still accept nude photos), heard over 13,000 inappropriate jokes, terrorized one cubicle while she was on her honeymoon (Hi, Kim!), and have had 6 annual reviews (yes, I know.)

Since 1997, I have worked under 2 presidents, suffered under Democratic Governor Glendenning, prospered under Republican Governor Ehrlich, and am now suffering again under Democratic Governor O'Malley. The same 2 elitist thugs are still running the Maryland General Assembly, though one (Mike Miller) promises to retire at the end of this term. The other (Mike Busch) will just keep getting fatter - both in the wallet and the waste. I expect that his ego will make his head explode before he retires.

I have purchased a home, 2 cars (remarkably), and fathered 3 children (that I know of). I have edited 25,000 Wikipedia articles, and written nearly 100. In an unrelated note (I think) I have been called a nerd 17,000 times.

Since 1997, I started and graduated from Loyola College with my MBA, and have received additional credits from UMBC, George Washington University, and almost a credit from a vocational school, though I did get kicked out for not knowing what a pneumatic impact wrench was. I still think that professor had it out for me. He was just super jealous of my sweet nunchuck skills.

So here I am, 11 years later - still not doing much work, but certainly putting on a good show. Here's to 11 more!